| Ek-sen-trik-kuh Discordia: The Tales of Shamlicht |
| "May you have the knowledge of a sage, and the wisdom of a child." Principia Discordia |
| "The problem with troubleshooting is that real trouble shoots back." Apocrypha Discordia |
| "Maybe we should all stop fighting and go watch cartoons." Ek-sen-trik-kuh Discordia: The Tales of Shamlicht |
| "I have seen reality, and reality is an illusion." The Book of Lies and Other Games |
| NO PICTURE AVAILABLE |
| "Crotch has 2 extra layers of polyester, cotton knit terry for super absorbency." Sears Spring & Summer 1975 Catalog |
Can a book that shows
women, men, boys and
girls in their underwear
really be a holy book?
women, men, boys and
girls in their underwear
really be a holy book?
Did the fifth holy book
predict the 911
terrorist attack on the
United States of
America?
predict the 911
terrorist attack on the
United States of
America?
| Fnord |
| This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 2.5 License. |
The covers to Principia Discordia
and Apocrypha Discordia are
kopyleft, or copyright free. The
covers for Ek-sen-trik-kuh Discordia:
The Tales of Shamlicht and the
Sears Spring & Summer 1975
Catalog are used under the rights to
use book covers for description and
publicity, and no threat to their
copyright is intended.
and Apocrypha Discordia are
kopyleft, or copyright free. The
covers for Ek-sen-trik-kuh Discordia:
The Tales of Shamlicht and the
Sears Spring & Summer 1975
Catalog are used under the rights to
use book covers for description and
publicity, and no threat to their
copyright is intended.
| The Five Holy Books of the Discordian Division of the Ek-sen-triks CluborGuild as brought to you by Reverend Loveshade |
V. SEARS SPRING & SUMMER 1975 CATALOG: : (The Mythics of Harmonia
claim that our Fifth Holy Book is actually the infamous SEARS FALL &
WINTER 1975 CATALOG, but that is heresy). The first major Sears catalog
produced after the resignation of American President Richard M. Nixon, and
thus the first one of the true 1970s and the new age of cynicism. (The
resignation in summer of 1974 was actually the end of the 60s movement,
which began in November of 1963 with the assassination of John F. Kennedy,
who ironically had run against Nixon in 1960. Discordian connection: Omar
Khayyam Ravenhurst was investigated in regard to the Kennedy
assassination, and note further than when Nixon left the White House, the Fall
& Winter 1974 catalog was, like the Principia Discordia, already off the press).
This is perhaps the only mass-produced publication still in existence that
defines the word “Fnord.” (Some claim that there’s a printing of the King
James Version of the Bible that has it, but which edition is unknown. Others
say it can be found in backward masking on Pink Floyd’s “Wish You Were
Here” album on LP only, but others claim it’s only on eight track, and still
others say the album is actually “Dark Side of the Moon,” but only if it’s
synchronized with the 1939 movie “The Wizard of Oz.” None of these claims
are verified.) In any case, the definition is known to be a bear to find as it’s
extremely well-hidden in the catalog.
There are a few known clues: it’s said one should note the catalog’s use of
the words and phrases “nylon,” “polyester,” and “Machine wash, warm.” It’s
also suggested to study pages 223-227, compare two average clocks in the
beginning with two at the end, and note the difference. These clues were
allegedly planted by one known as “Gypsie Skripto,” a Discordian who wrote
ad copy for Sears at that time. Also of particular interest are pages 237, 315,
535 (there’s more than one page 535), 537 (which lists “vibrators,”
“lubricants,” and “force pumps,”) and 911 (note the target with the word “club”
in the middle). Just for fun, look for the now famous person found somewhere
between pages 260 and 317.
claim that our Fifth Holy Book is actually the infamous SEARS FALL &
WINTER 1975 CATALOG, but that is heresy). The first major Sears catalog
produced after the resignation of American President Richard M. Nixon, and
thus the first one of the true 1970s and the new age of cynicism. (The
resignation in summer of 1974 was actually the end of the 60s movement,
which began in November of 1963 with the assassination of John F. Kennedy,
who ironically had run against Nixon in 1960. Discordian connection: Omar
Khayyam Ravenhurst was investigated in regard to the Kennedy
assassination, and note further than when Nixon left the White House, the Fall
& Winter 1974 catalog was, like the Principia Discordia, already off the press).
This is perhaps the only mass-produced publication still in existence that
defines the word “Fnord.” (Some claim that there’s a printing of the King
James Version of the Bible that has it, but which edition is unknown. Others
say it can be found in backward masking on Pink Floyd’s “Wish You Were
Here” album on LP only, but others claim it’s only on eight track, and still
others say the album is actually “Dark Side of the Moon,” but only if it’s
synchronized with the 1939 movie “The Wizard of Oz.” None of these claims
are verified.) In any case, the definition is known to be a bear to find as it’s
extremely well-hidden in the catalog.
There are a few known clues: it’s said one should note the catalog’s use of
the words and phrases “nylon,” “polyester,” and “Machine wash, warm.” It’s
also suggested to study pages 223-227, compare two average clocks in the
beginning with two at the end, and note the difference. These clues were
allegedly planted by one known as “Gypsie Skripto,” a Discordian who wrote
ad copy for Sears at that time. Also of particular interest are pages 237, 315,
535 (there’s more than one page 535), 537 (which lists “vibrators,”
“lubricants,” and “force pumps,”) and 911 (note the target with the word “club”
in the middle). Just for fun, look for the now famous person found somewhere
between pages 260 and 317.
In order to promote Discordianism, and for the edification of its members and
member wannabees, the following Five Holy Books are recognized as The
Five Holy Books of the Discordian Division of the Ek-sen-triks CluborGuild.
These shall be known as The Five Holy Books of the Discordian Division of
the Ek-sen-triks CluborGuild:
member wannabees, the following Five Holy Books are recognized as The
Five Holy Books of the Discordian Division of the Ek-sen-triks CluborGuild.
These shall be known as The Five Holy Books of the Discordian Division of
the Ek-sen-triks CluborGuild:
I. PRINCIPIA DISCORDIA, or How I Found Goddess, and What I Did to Her
When I Found Her, the Magnum Opiate of Malaclypse the Younger (featuring
Omar Khayyam Ravenhurst): This is the First Book, particularly the Fifth
Edition, or A Caterpillar’s Praise to the Butterfly. (Those who are not already
enlightened should probably read the Fourth Edition first, or the First Edition
fourth, if you can find it. If you have both the Second and Third Editions, read
them simultaneously, but in reverse order). Principia Discordia explains
absolutely everything worth knowing about absolutely anything. Thus there is
no need for any other book, which is why we have four more.
When I Found Her, the Magnum Opiate of Malaclypse the Younger (featuring
Omar Khayyam Ravenhurst): This is the First Book, particularly the Fifth
Edition, or A Caterpillar’s Praise to the Butterfly. (Those who are not already
enlightened should probably read the Fourth Edition first, or the First Edition
fourth, if you can find it. If you have both the Second and Third Editions, read
them simultaneously, but in reverse order). Principia Discordia explains
absolutely everything worth knowing about absolutely anything. Thus there is
no need for any other book, which is why we have four more.
II. APOCRYPHA DISCORDIA: Writings complied by Rev. DrJon Swabey and
illuminated by Pope Phil Wlodarczyk III. Finally completed after Steve Jackson
allegedly abandoned the illegitimate early draft in a cardboard box under a
pool table in a pub in Liverpool, England. More Discordian writings than you
can shake a country at. Primarily included because some of our members are
mentioned in it, and a few actually contributed. Good for enlightening those
who find the original too filling. Think of it as enlightenment light. However,
much of it will make no sense whatsoever if you aren’t already familiar with
Principia Discordia, so it may not be all that light after all. Ignore what we
said. In any case, the book is significant in that it was chosen as one of our
holy books years before it was actually written (yes, that’s actually true).
illuminated by Pope Phil Wlodarczyk III. Finally completed after Steve Jackson
allegedly abandoned the illegitimate early draft in a cardboard box under a
pool table in a pub in Liverpool, England. More Discordian writings than you
can shake a country at. Primarily included because some of our members are
mentioned in it, and a few actually contributed. Good for enlightening those
who find the original too filling. Think of it as enlightenment light. However,
much of it will make no sense whatsoever if you aren’t already familiar with
Principia Discordia, so it may not be all that light after all. Ignore what we
said. In any case, the book is significant in that it was chosen as one of our
holy books years before it was actually written (yes, that’s actually true).
III. EK-SEN-TRIK-UH DISCORDIA: THE TALES OF SHAMLICHT: A book that
is extremely difficult to find unless you use your pineal gland as a compass
during the vernal equinox while Eris is ascendant and Uranus is retrograde (or
during the autumnal equinox when Mars is descendent and Venus is
retrograde, depending upon hemisphere.) Or maybe it’s difficult to find
because we haven’t finished it yet. This contains various holy writings,
primarily by members of the D & D of the ECG under the auspices of
Reverend Loveshade, with some more crap by the Mythics of Harmonia and
Smagmoid Kids Club. (As of this writing, the only known complete copy of the
book is secretly hidden in the Rev’s Cortex--or is that Kotex?). The rest of the
writings are rip-offs of other people's stuff. (The Mythics of Harmonia claim
that our True Third Holy Book is actually THE BY-LAWS OF THE EK-SEN-
TRIKS CLUBORGUILD, first reported missing in either 1980 or 1981,
ironically before ECG Chapter One was even founded. We consider The By-
Laws to be the Alternate Third Holy Book.)
is extremely difficult to find unless you use your pineal gland as a compass
during the vernal equinox while Eris is ascendant and Uranus is retrograde (or
during the autumnal equinox when Mars is descendent and Venus is
retrograde, depending upon hemisphere.) Or maybe it’s difficult to find
because we haven’t finished it yet. This contains various holy writings,
primarily by members of the D & D of the ECG under the auspices of
Reverend Loveshade, with some more crap by the Mythics of Harmonia and
Smagmoid Kids Club. (As of this writing, the only known complete copy of the
book is secretly hidden in the Rev’s Cortex--or is that Kotex?). The rest of the
writings are rip-offs of other people's stuff. (The Mythics of Harmonia claim
that our True Third Holy Book is actually THE BY-LAWS OF THE EK-SEN-
TRIKS CLUBORGUILD, first reported missing in either 1980 or 1981,
ironically before ECG Chapter One was even founded. We consider The By-
Laws to be the Alternate Third Holy Book.)
IV. THE BOOK OF LIES AND OTHER GAMES: Not to be confused with the
works of Crowley or Alfonso X or Hoyle. Little is known of this book except for
it’s opening poem which is apparently copyrighted, making the book
questionable as Discordian material. It may have been written or translated
by The GameMaster of Florin, whom we suspect is actually GameMaster
Loveshade. It is rumoured that BloodStar, mentioned in the Apocrypha
Discordia and the traveling companion of Binky the WonderSkull, has a copy.
works of Crowley or Alfonso X or Hoyle. Little is known of this book except for
it’s opening poem which is apparently copyrighted, making the book
questionable as Discordian material. It may have been written or translated
by The GameMaster of Florin, whom we suspect is actually GameMaster
Loveshade. It is rumoured that BloodStar, mentioned in the Apocrypha
Discordia and the traveling companion of Binky the WonderSkull, has a copy.
Bonus Holy Books: The Adventures of Trash Gordon (allegedly based on
the life of Fargo the Homeless); Ain't Nobody's Business If You Do: The
Absurdity of Consensual Crimes in Our Free Country (held by the FBI in their
investigation of members of the D & D of the ECG--yes, this is true); Alice's
Adventures Underground (not to be confused with Alice's Adventures in
Wonderland, which is also a holy book); The Autobiography of Minnie Rae;
The Book of Eris; The Devil's Dictionary; Harmful to Minors: The Perils of
Protecting Children from Sex; The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy; The
Honest Book of Truth; The Illuminatus! Trilogy; The Illumanoids; The
Notebooks of Lazarus Long; Novus Ordo Discordia; The Peter Principle;
Principia Harmonia; The Smagmoid Kids Club Handbook; Summa Universalia;
Zen Without Zen Masters; and West End Trash (which is actually a
government-seized Discordian play).
the life of Fargo the Homeless); Ain't Nobody's Business If You Do: The
Absurdity of Consensual Crimes in Our Free Country (held by the FBI in their
investigation of members of the D & D of the ECG--yes, this is true); Alice's
Adventures Underground (not to be confused with Alice's Adventures in
Wonderland, which is also a holy book); The Autobiography of Minnie Rae;
The Book of Eris; The Devil's Dictionary; Harmful to Minors: The Perils of
Protecting Children from Sex; The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy; The
Honest Book of Truth; The Illuminatus! Trilogy; The Illumanoids; The
Notebooks of Lazarus Long; Novus Ordo Discordia; The Peter Principle;
Principia Harmonia; The Smagmoid Kids Club Handbook; Summa Universalia;
Zen Without Zen Masters; and West End Trash (which is actually a
government-seized Discordian play).
| UPDATED February 2007 |