| Ek-sen-trik-kuh Discordia |
 |
| From the non-existent Ek-sen-trik-kuh Discordia, unborn child of an act of incest by the Principia Discordia & her born again virgin daughter Apocrypha Discordia |
| As revealed to Reverend Loveshade |
| Binky the WonderSkull wearing The Lost Panties of Minnie Rae (this photo was seized by the authorities and held by the FBI). |
| This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 2.5 License. |
Like many legitimate religious cults, the D & D of the ECG has some
items that are just too darned important not to classify as Holy Relics.
Unlike many legitimate religious cults, the D & D of the ECG possesses
a number of these sacred if controversial items, which reveals the
Goodness of Goddess, the Eristics of Eris, the Desires of Discordia,
and the Fertile Imaginations of Our Members. (Note to skeptics: all of
the accepted and proposed relics listed below do, or at least did, exist.
Our course our descriptions of them might be a little tweaked).
What is a relic? A relic is an object of great significance and
veneration that is often, but not always, associated with a Saint. A relic
might be the object that killed a Saint, something that was very
important to a Saint, or even something that saved a Saint’s life. It
could be an object that has magical or miraculous powers, and in rare
cases could even be part of the body of a Saint. Relics might be
missing for centuries, buried in the bottom of caves, discovered in
forgotten Medieval dungeons, or even be uncovered behind the Cock
and Crow pub in Sanderson, California, in a half-empty trash bin.
Not every object claimed as a relic is accepted as one, and not every
recognized relic is specifically accepted as one by the D & D of the
ECG. It takes thorough examination and research of a proposed relic,
in addition to days and nights of contemplation of a researcher’s
and/or Saint’s pineal gland or navel or other appropriate body parts.
Sometimes researchers must contemplate each others appropriate
body parts. Sometimes the appropriate body parts require many
hours of digital and other manipulation before a revelation suddenly
bursts forth. An examination can get very messy.
Usually the keeper of such and such a relic is identified as “The
Keeper of Such and Such a Relic.” This is a great honour, but is no
justification for stealing somebody’s relic, especially if it’s a part of their
body.
Without further ado, here are some Accepted (A), Proposed (P), and
even one Rejected (R) relic. There are more, which may be revealed
later. D & D of the ECG Members and other Discordians and Ek-sen-
triks are free to send their comments and suggestions and suggestive
photos for comment and contemplation to the email address listed on
our Home Page.
The Holy Chao Belly (AKA The Sacred Chao Belly) (A): The
location of this relic is well known, for it can be found on the front of the
body between Saint The Mary’s upper and lower naughty bits. Those
who are authorized by The Mary to rub it are known as Members of the
Order of the Holy Chao Belly Rubbers, or simply Members of the
Order of Rubbers. Those who rub it who are not authorized to do so
are known as “wanted by the police.” It features The Sacred Chao
symbol of the Discordians, and also a killifish, one of the Seven Sacred
Symbols of The Mary. The Mary is thus recognized as Keeper of the
Holy Chao Belly.
Saint Association: Part of the body of Saint The Mary.
Magical or Miraculous Powers: We’re sure it has some, but we have to
do some more rubbing to find out what.
The Duck (A): The Duck was once in the possession of Paganus
Grimlove the Uncanonized, but has, sadly, been lost. The Duck was a
duck-shaped vessel into which could be poured any number and
combination of drinkable liquids, especially those associated with
spirits. The mixture could then be shared with anyone, was always
different, was always tasty and often delicious, and always had a
mysterious effect on the perceptual and motor skills of the imbiber.
People would welcome the Coming of The Duck by chanting “The
Duck! The Duck! The Duck! The Duck! The Duck!”
Saint Association: Paganus Grimlove the Uncanonized may someday
be recognized as an Ek-sen-trik/Discordian Saint, especially if
Paganus finally finds The Duck. Us Ek-sen-trik Discordians get really
thirsty.
Magical or Miraculous Powers: No matter how many people drank
from it, The Duck never went dry.
Binky the WonderSkull (P): While it may seen odd to propose a
member as a relic, remember that Binky is a skull and is thus part of a
dead person. The controversy lies in the Sainthood of Binky, for as far
as we know, the body that Binky came from wasn’t a Saint--but it could
have been. Binky was allegedly uncovered behind the Cock & Crow
pub in Sanderson, California, while Fargo the Homeless was
rummaging through a half-empty trash bin. This was on or about 1
November 1991 CE (13 Aftermath 3157 POEE). The skull’s life before
that is unknown. Nobody possesses Binky, although some do travel
with the Bodiless And Fleshless One (this explains the origin of the
nickname “Bafo,” not to be confused with “Barfo the Vomiting Clown”).
Saint Association: Might be part of the body of a Saint.
Magical or Miraculous Powers: Holds a strange attraction power over
good-looking dolls, who then want to pose with Binky for photos.
The Lost Panties of Minnie Rae (P) (not to be confused with The Lost
Virginity of Minnie Rae, which is also a holy relic): The very existence
of this item of intimate apparel was long in question. But its existence
was finally confirmed in 2005 CE/ 3171 POEE after intense study of a
photograph uncovered by the American Federal Bureau of
Investigation. The photo shows the panties being worn as an eye
patch by Binky the WonderSkull. (Truth break: this photo, shown
below, really was held by the FBI after it was seized by the authorities
some time after September 11, 2001). This also revealed the identity
of the infamous “Panty Pirate.”
Debate still continues as to whether Minnie Rae’s lingerie was burgled
from the then dancer-in-training’s chest of drawers in the family’s two-
bedroom apartment near Los Angeles, California, in the mid 1990s;
pilfered from a dryer at the family’s apartment complex in the late
1990s; stolen off the dancer’s person during a Panty Raid in spring of
2002 at a college dorm in Janus County, Texas; or sold willingly in the
early 21st Century by the then professional exotic dancer to Binky at
auction on eBay for $537. The panties have since been lost again,
although some believe they are in the hands of researchers, now lost,
or were finally returned to Minnie Rae, who is also lost.
It’s claimed the panties have scientifically miraculous life-flow
stimulating powers, so that when they are removed slowly in an
expertly maneuvered ritual dance, they can cause precipitation in
some areas and growth in others. But those claims are still unverified,
which is why their recognition as a relic is pending. Anyone who finds
panties that may have been worn by Minnie Rae, or by anybody with
suspected miraculous or other powers, is asked to mail them to us.
These should not be treated by any chemical substance or detergent,
which could decrease their potency. They should be sealed in plastic,
which can then be put into a plain brown envelop or box that does not
reveal its contents to any anti-miracle science Greyfaces. This will
enable us to thoroughly examine them for educational and research
purposes.
(Estorical note: According to the online encylopedia Wikipedia as of 6
April, 2006, Minnie Rae was a young, reincarnation-believing prostitute
who worked happily in San Francisco from about 1869 to 1873.
Joshua A. Norton, self-proclaimed “Emperor of these United States and
Protector of Mexico,” proclaimed Minnie Rae “The Little Countess.”
The streetwalker gave birth to Bartholomew in 1872, and vanished in
early 1873. The Autobiography of Minnie Rae was published in 1875,
but all copies were apparently destroyed as “sinful” and “satanic” in
1880, the year Norton died. Reverend Loveshade claims Bartholomew
and Minnie Rae as ancestors.)
Saint Association: Formerly worn and possessed by Binky the
WonderSkull, who might be part of the body of a Saint. And the
continually reincarnated Minnie Rae is being considered for sainthood
by the Mythics of Harmonia.
Magical or Miraculous Powers: When expertly removed, can allegedly
cause Precipitation and Growth. They also get lost a lot.
The President’s Brain (R)*: This was proposed but rejected as a
relic for two main reasons: one, it doesn’t specify which president; and
two, there is doubt as to whether it even exists.
Saint Association: None.
Magical or Miraculous Powers: None, except for perhaps the ability to
escape detection.
*Other rejected relics include the Brain of the Prime Minister, Queen,
King, Tsar, Ayatolla, etc.
items that are just too darned important not to classify as Holy Relics.
Unlike many legitimate religious cults, the D & D of the ECG possesses
a number of these sacred if controversial items, which reveals the
Goodness of Goddess, the Eristics of Eris, the Desires of Discordia,
and the Fertile Imaginations of Our Members. (Note to skeptics: all of
the accepted and proposed relics listed below do, or at least did, exist.
Our course our descriptions of them might be a little tweaked).
What is a relic? A relic is an object of great significance and
veneration that is often, but not always, associated with a Saint. A relic
might be the object that killed a Saint, something that was very
important to a Saint, or even something that saved a Saint’s life. It
could be an object that has magical or miraculous powers, and in rare
cases could even be part of the body of a Saint. Relics might be
missing for centuries, buried in the bottom of caves, discovered in
forgotten Medieval dungeons, or even be uncovered behind the Cock
and Crow pub in Sanderson, California, in a half-empty trash bin.
Not every object claimed as a relic is accepted as one, and not every
recognized relic is specifically accepted as one by the D & D of the
ECG. It takes thorough examination and research of a proposed relic,
in addition to days and nights of contemplation of a researcher’s
and/or Saint’s pineal gland or navel or other appropriate body parts.
Sometimes researchers must contemplate each others appropriate
body parts. Sometimes the appropriate body parts require many
hours of digital and other manipulation before a revelation suddenly
bursts forth. An examination can get very messy.
Usually the keeper of such and such a relic is identified as “The
Keeper of Such and Such a Relic.” This is a great honour, but is no
justification for stealing somebody’s relic, especially if it’s a part of their
body.
Without further ado, here are some Accepted (A), Proposed (P), and
even one Rejected (R) relic. There are more, which may be revealed
later. D & D of the ECG Members and other Discordians and Ek-sen-
triks are free to send their comments and suggestions and suggestive
photos for comment and contemplation to the email address listed on
our Home Page.
The Holy Chao Belly (AKA The Sacred Chao Belly) (A): The
location of this relic is well known, for it can be found on the front of the
body between Saint The Mary’s upper and lower naughty bits. Those
who are authorized by The Mary to rub it are known as Members of the
Order of the Holy Chao Belly Rubbers, or simply Members of the
Order of Rubbers. Those who rub it who are not authorized to do so
are known as “wanted by the police.” It features The Sacred Chao
symbol of the Discordians, and also a killifish, one of the Seven Sacred
Symbols of The Mary. The Mary is thus recognized as Keeper of the
Holy Chao Belly.
Saint Association: Part of the body of Saint The Mary.
Magical or Miraculous Powers: We’re sure it has some, but we have to
do some more rubbing to find out what.
The Duck (A): The Duck was once in the possession of Paganus
Grimlove the Uncanonized, but has, sadly, been lost. The Duck was a
duck-shaped vessel into which could be poured any number and
combination of drinkable liquids, especially those associated with
spirits. The mixture could then be shared with anyone, was always
different, was always tasty and often delicious, and always had a
mysterious effect on the perceptual and motor skills of the imbiber.
People would welcome the Coming of The Duck by chanting “The
Duck! The Duck! The Duck! The Duck! The Duck!”
Saint Association: Paganus Grimlove the Uncanonized may someday
be recognized as an Ek-sen-trik/Discordian Saint, especially if
Paganus finally finds The Duck. Us Ek-sen-trik Discordians get really
thirsty.
Magical or Miraculous Powers: No matter how many people drank
from it, The Duck never went dry.
Binky the WonderSkull (P): While it may seen odd to propose a
member as a relic, remember that Binky is a skull and is thus part of a
dead person. The controversy lies in the Sainthood of Binky, for as far
as we know, the body that Binky came from wasn’t a Saint--but it could
have been. Binky was allegedly uncovered behind the Cock & Crow
pub in Sanderson, California, while Fargo the Homeless was
rummaging through a half-empty trash bin. This was on or about 1
November 1991 CE (13 Aftermath 3157 POEE). The skull’s life before
that is unknown. Nobody possesses Binky, although some do travel
with the Bodiless And Fleshless One (this explains the origin of the
nickname “Bafo,” not to be confused with “Barfo the Vomiting Clown”).
Saint Association: Might be part of the body of a Saint.
Magical or Miraculous Powers: Holds a strange attraction power over
good-looking dolls, who then want to pose with Binky for photos.
The Lost Panties of Minnie Rae (P) (not to be confused with The Lost
Virginity of Minnie Rae, which is also a holy relic): The very existence
of this item of intimate apparel was long in question. But its existence
was finally confirmed in 2005 CE/ 3171 POEE after intense study of a
photograph uncovered by the American Federal Bureau of
Investigation. The photo shows the panties being worn as an eye
patch by Binky the WonderSkull. (Truth break: this photo, shown
below, really was held by the FBI after it was seized by the authorities
some time after September 11, 2001). This also revealed the identity
of the infamous “Panty Pirate.”
Debate still continues as to whether Minnie Rae’s lingerie was burgled
from the then dancer-in-training’s chest of drawers in the family’s two-
bedroom apartment near Los Angeles, California, in the mid 1990s;
pilfered from a dryer at the family’s apartment complex in the late
1990s; stolen off the dancer’s person during a Panty Raid in spring of
2002 at a college dorm in Janus County, Texas; or sold willingly in the
early 21st Century by the then professional exotic dancer to Binky at
auction on eBay for $537. The panties have since been lost again,
although some believe they are in the hands of researchers, now lost,
or were finally returned to Minnie Rae, who is also lost.
It’s claimed the panties have scientifically miraculous life-flow
stimulating powers, so that when they are removed slowly in an
expertly maneuvered ritual dance, they can cause precipitation in
some areas and growth in others. But those claims are still unverified,
which is why their recognition as a relic is pending. Anyone who finds
panties that may have been worn by Minnie Rae, or by anybody with
suspected miraculous or other powers, is asked to mail them to us.
These should not be treated by any chemical substance or detergent,
which could decrease their potency. They should be sealed in plastic,
which can then be put into a plain brown envelop or box that does not
reveal its contents to any anti-miracle science Greyfaces. This will
enable us to thoroughly examine them for educational and research
purposes.
(Estorical note: According to the online encylopedia Wikipedia as of 6
April, 2006, Minnie Rae was a young, reincarnation-believing prostitute
who worked happily in San Francisco from about 1869 to 1873.
Joshua A. Norton, self-proclaimed “Emperor of these United States and
Protector of Mexico,” proclaimed Minnie Rae “The Little Countess.”
The streetwalker gave birth to Bartholomew in 1872, and vanished in
early 1873. The Autobiography of Minnie Rae was published in 1875,
but all copies were apparently destroyed as “sinful” and “satanic” in
1880, the year Norton died. Reverend Loveshade claims Bartholomew
and Minnie Rae as ancestors.)
Saint Association: Formerly worn and possessed by Binky the
WonderSkull, who might be part of the body of a Saint. And the
continually reincarnated Minnie Rae is being considered for sainthood
by the Mythics of Harmonia.
Magical or Miraculous Powers: When expertly removed, can allegedly
cause Precipitation and Growth. They also get lost a lot.
The President’s Brain (R)*: This was proposed but rejected as a
relic for two main reasons: one, it doesn’t specify which president; and
two, there is doubt as to whether it even exists.
Saint Association: None.
Magical or Miraculous Powers: None, except for perhaps the ability to
escape detection.
*Other rejected relics include the Brain of the Prime Minister, Queen,
King, Tsar, Ayatolla, etc.
| of the Discordian Division of the Ek-sen-triks CluborGuild |
| The Holy Relics |
| Now with information on the historical Minnie Rae that was discovered in 2006 |
