| A Herstorical Document Worthy of Study |
| Make The Mary A Saint Proposal |
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An Officious Document of The Discordian Division of the Ek-sen-triks CluborGuild as established in
MCMXCIV Common Era or MMMCLX Discordian Calendar (Chapter One of the E. C. G. established
in MCMLXXX or MCMLXXXI Common Era, we forget) under The Goddess Eris-Discordia
Whereas The Discordian Division of the Ek-sen-triks CluborGuild (D & D of
the E. C. G.) is authorized duly by GODDESS DISCORDIA and by itself in that
Disorder not necessarily to proclaim and promote Members, Orders, Holey
Shrines, and Most Wholey Saints (M.O.S.S.) belonging to and/or representing
itself; and
Whereas The Mary has promoted Discordianism by diverse great effects
including: Discordian postings and website hostings and bunless wiener
roastings* in Cyberspace which is thus further lost to The Military Order of
THE KNIGHTS OF THE FIVE SIDED TEMPLE; and has personally created
much Discord of an Eristocratic nature therein in spite of The Political Order
of THE PARTY FOR WAR ON EVIL; and through pre-school graduation* has
moved beyond the reach of the shriveled monkey paw of The Academic Order
of THE HEMLOCK FELLOWSHIP; and has not bowed down in subservience*
to kiss the grass-rooted feet of The Social Order of THE CITIZENS
COMMITTEE FOR CONCERNED CITIZENS; and has participated in holy
marital rites (“Marry me”) beyond the contemporary community standards of
The Sacred Order of THE DEFAMATION LEAGUE; and
Whereas The Mary has demonstrated by proofs duly witnessed* that she is
the possessor and wearer and Keeper of the HOLY CHAO BELLY, a Most
Holey Shrine of the Discordian Division of the Ek-sen-triks CluborGuild*; and
Whereas The Mary has by diverse proofs* shown herself to be a REAL
PERSON and not something else such as a CABBAGE; and
Whereas Saint Second Class is the category reserved by GODDESS
DISCORDIA for those persons who, although being actual, demonstrate
themselves none-the-less worthy of Sainthood; therefore be it
Proposed that The Mary be accepted as a member in most excellent standing
(or sitting, depending upon position; kneeling or lying down optional) of the
Discordian Division of the Ek-sen-triks CluborGuild; and
Proposed that The Mary be reserved as the Holy Name of The Mary in the
Discordian Division of the Ek-sen-triks CluborGuild; and
Proposed that The Mary be named Keeper of the Holy Chao Belly; and
Proposed that those who have been duly authorized and given all permission
by The Mary to rub the Holy Chao Belly and have been verified by The Mary
to have done such be recognized as Members of The Order of the Holy Chao
Belly Rubbers (to be thereby established); and
Proposed that The Mary be recognized by the Discordian Division of the Ek-
sen-triks CluborGuild as a Discordian Saint, Second Class.
We the below respectfully present this proposal to the Discordian Division of
the Ek-sen-triks CluborGuild:
Reverend Loveshade, Episkopos
E. of the D & D of the E. C. G.; Scribe for the Apocrypha Discordia
(page 14); legally-recognized Prophet of The All-Knowing God;
Keeper of Two of the Five Holey Books
Puk Cuff,
the Imaginary Friend
Binky the WonderSkull,
D. E. A. D.
(acting as representative of BloodStar, M.I.A., Mentionee in the
Apocrypha Discordia (page 14); Keeper of One of the Five Holey Books;
and Traveling Companion of Binky the WonderSkull)
* recognition of these points is pending
Proposal submitted by Reverend Loveshade, et. al., on 24 May 2004 (GMT; 70 Discord
3170); accepted by anonymous vote on 9 August 2004 in Douala, Republic of Cameroon
(Local Time; 2 Bureaucracy 3170)
MCMXCIV Common Era or MMMCLX Discordian Calendar (Chapter One of the E. C. G. established
in MCMLXXX or MCMLXXXI Common Era, we forget) under The Goddess Eris-Discordia
Whereas The Discordian Division of the Ek-sen-triks CluborGuild (D & D of
the E. C. G.) is authorized duly by GODDESS DISCORDIA and by itself in that
Disorder not necessarily to proclaim and promote Members, Orders, Holey
Shrines, and Most Wholey Saints (M.O.S.S.) belonging to and/or representing
itself; and
Whereas The Mary has promoted Discordianism by diverse great effects
including: Discordian postings and website hostings and bunless wiener
roastings* in Cyberspace which is thus further lost to The Military Order of
THE KNIGHTS OF THE FIVE SIDED TEMPLE; and has personally created
much Discord of an Eristocratic nature therein in spite of The Political Order
of THE PARTY FOR WAR ON EVIL; and through pre-school graduation* has
moved beyond the reach of the shriveled monkey paw of The Academic Order
of THE HEMLOCK FELLOWSHIP; and has not bowed down in subservience*
to kiss the grass-rooted feet of The Social Order of THE CITIZENS
COMMITTEE FOR CONCERNED CITIZENS; and has participated in holy
marital rites (“Marry me”) beyond the contemporary community standards of
The Sacred Order of THE DEFAMATION LEAGUE; and
Whereas The Mary has demonstrated by proofs duly witnessed* that she is
the possessor and wearer and Keeper of the HOLY CHAO BELLY, a Most
Holey Shrine of the Discordian Division of the Ek-sen-triks CluborGuild*; and
Whereas The Mary has by diverse proofs* shown herself to be a REAL
PERSON and not something else such as a CABBAGE; and
Whereas Saint Second Class is the category reserved by GODDESS
DISCORDIA for those persons who, although being actual, demonstrate
themselves none-the-less worthy of Sainthood; therefore be it
Proposed that The Mary be accepted as a member in most excellent standing
(or sitting, depending upon position; kneeling or lying down optional) of the
Discordian Division of the Ek-sen-triks CluborGuild; and
Proposed that The Mary be reserved as the Holy Name of The Mary in the
Discordian Division of the Ek-sen-triks CluborGuild; and
Proposed that The Mary be named Keeper of the Holy Chao Belly; and
Proposed that those who have been duly authorized and given all permission
by The Mary to rub the Holy Chao Belly and have been verified by The Mary
to have done such be recognized as Members of The Order of the Holy Chao
Belly Rubbers (to be thereby established); and
Proposed that The Mary be recognized by the Discordian Division of the Ek-
sen-triks CluborGuild as a Discordian Saint, Second Class.
We the below respectfully present this proposal to the Discordian Division of
the Ek-sen-triks CluborGuild:
Reverend Loveshade, Episkopos
E. of the D & D of the E. C. G.; Scribe for the Apocrypha Discordia
(page 14); legally-recognized Prophet of The All-Knowing God;
Keeper of Two of the Five Holey Books
Puk Cuff,
the Imaginary Friend
Binky the WonderSkull,
D. E. A. D.
(acting as representative of BloodStar, M.I.A., Mentionee in the
Apocrypha Discordia (page 14); Keeper of One of the Five Holey Books;
and Traveling Companion of Binky the WonderSkull)
* recognition of these points is pending
Proposal submitted by Reverend Loveshade, et. al., on 24 May 2004 (GMT; 70 Discord
3170); accepted by anonymous vote on 9 August 2004 in Douala, Republic of Cameroon
(Local Time; 2 Bureaucracy 3170)