Reverend Loveshade's Mostly True (and mercifully short) Biography

Reverend Loveshade was born, according to some as-yet-unverified accounts.
We have it on good authority that this was not a wholesome, innocent, immaculate
birth, but was in fact the result of a nasty act of disgusting, lustful, naked, sex.
This explains es questionable moral character, and prurient interest in Things
Humanity was Not Meant to Know.

The Rev grew up in a small town in the United States of America, which was started
by some foreign English traitors. Es childhood was relatively normal, and consisted
of kindergarten and elementary school, Boy and/or Girl Scouts, frequent baloney
on white bread sandwiches, occasional spankings, and most significant of all,
regular attendance in a private church school and church. While e enjoyed
services as a kid, by junior high e came home from church almost every Sunday
with a headache.

But e kept on trying. During es years at church, e was an acolyte, usher, janitor
(scrubbing the toilet that hot choir member with the big brown eyes sat on), and
Sunday School teacher. This gave em more headaches. So e became an agnostic
because being an atheist required too much faith, having to believe in No-God.
This was followed by forays into Hinduism, Buddhism, Judaism, Jainism,
Confucianism, Mormonism, Paganism, Astrology, Numerology, Scientology,
Christian Science, Religious Science, Creation Science, Baha'i, Islam, and others
too numerous to list. Many of them tasted great, but weren’t fulfilling.

Then one day a mysterious robed figured known only as "Brother Goose" gave em
a book by someone named Robert Anton Wilson that was about the Illuminatus
Conspiracy. E hadn't heard of either the author or the subject, but had so many
better things to do that e read the book instead. E thought it was quite interesting,
especially the parts about Dr. Timothy Leary. But that was all.

But then a bizarre series of “coincidental” events began some time after e bought
Steve Jackson Games’ version of a then obscure book that talked about the
Illuminati. This book was Principia Discordia. The book changed es life, but not
necessarily for the better. Strange events began to happen. These ranged from
seeing a lost old friend who had just told someone e thought they would meet
again soon, to finding a new book about the Illuminati in a bookstore on May 1 (the
anniversary of the founding of the Bavarian Illuminati), to finding e had ordered two
copies of a book about the Illuminati that e had never even heard of, to finding a
book about the Illuminati in es back yard (yes, these are all true). These led to
some really weird events we don’t feel free to print here.

As Steve Jackson said in 1994 that e was thinking about compiling an Apocrypha
Discordia, the Rev wrote some Discordian stuff on an outdated school computer
and submitted it. Nothing happened. So in 1995 or so, e agreed to let some of es
stuff be posted on a website belonging to BloodStar, claiming it was from the non-
existent Apocrypha Discordia. E wrote more stuff, and posted that too. Es work
started spreading like diarrhetic dung from a drunken cowboy's boot, and was
posted on numerous questionable sites.

Then things got really weird. E became part of a national investigation with local,
state and federal agents questioning people as to es whereabouts and true
identity (yes, this is true). E still doesn’t know exactly why, but thinks it has
something to do with es exercising the principles of “if it harms none, do as you
will,” freedom of religion, freedom of the press, contemporary community
standards, separation of church and state, and maybe some things e sent to the
White House concerning their handling of Sept. 11, 2001 (this was in 2001, when
they were still a bit jumpy).

But the myriad of investigations are officially over (continuing in secret), Reverend
Loveshade is free (being secretly spied on), and e is living happily (in fear the
Government is still after em). So far, es Discordian crap has appeared in the non-
existent Apocrypha Discordia, Apocrypha Discordia, Apocrypha Diskordia
(German translation), Book of Eris, Ek-sen-trik-kuh Discordia: The Tales of
Shamlicht; and Wikisource. E talked to Greg Hill and a Greg Hill imposter, once
heard Kerry Thornley rant, corresponded several times with es "Grandbob" Robert
Anton Wilson, is listed in various online encyclopedias, and has been translated
into various languages e can't read.

E currently is living outside of a small town in the United States of America, is
writing on an outdated computer, is nose deep in Things Humanity was Not Meant
to Know, and spends a lot of time thinking about nasty acts of disgusting, lustful,
naked, sex.

The Rev is Episkopos of the
Discordian Division of the Ek-
sen-triks CluborGuild. What
that really means, we don’t
know. In a twist on Discordia
itself, e is either a person
pretending to be a joke, or a
joke pretending to be a
person.

A writer, theologist,
polyamorist, naturist,
philosophical humorist, and
all-around good person
troublemaker. Writes like a
mad person, performs cyber-
weddings, and was
published in the Apocrypha
Discordia before it even
existed.

Was the subject of a national
investigation that tried to
determine who e really was
and what e was up to (yes,
that part is true).

Has a perhaps legitimate
claim to official recognition by
the United States of America
as an infallible prophet of the
All-Knowing God.

“They made me swear to tell
the Truth, the Whole Truth,
and Nothing But the Truth, so
help me God. Obviously, the
true and honorable American
Judicial System wouldn’t
require me to do something
they didn’t believe I was
capable of doing.”

Accuracy Rating: 10 (by the
American Judicial System), 9
(Biblical Material--the score
we gave our favorite
televangelist was 8, so that’s
pretty darn good), 7.5+
(everything else).