Ek-sen-trik Discordian Snooze Letter November 2004

Snooze Letter
November 2004

A sample Snooze Letter of
the Discordian Division of the Ek-sen-triks CluborGuild

SNOOZE LETTER
of the
DISCORDIAN DIVISION
OF THE EK-SEN-TRIKS CLUBORGUILD
in praise of the Goddess Discordia
and a buttered oven-baked stuffed turkey

Setting Orange, 8 Aftermath 3170
(mundanely Wednesday, 27 October 2004)
otherwise known as
The Turkey Issue
or
Gobble Babble

*BELOW (NEW WEBSITE COMING????)*

Yes, we are planning to build a site for one and all! Well, maybe not for
everyone. The Ek-sen-triks’ part will likely be a part of the larger part which will
be a part of the World Wide Web part of the Internet. Partly. We want YOUR
ideas, writings, financial help, artwork, photos, links, stupid stuff, cool stuff and
turkey stuffing.

We’ve had some gullible dupes--er, we mean Volunteers, yes we do!--already,
and can use a LOT more. Send us your stuff to the snazzy email below. Ok, to
make it easy, here it is: xxxxx@xxxxx.xxx Remember to begin the title of your
email with something that we'll know is Discordian or we might delete it!
Something like Editor, Discordian, Ek-sen-triks, etc.

*DISMEMBERMENT/NEW MEMBERS*

We’ll shoot Ek-sen-trik-kuh President FEARLESS FRED, then release him to
catch him again.

*MISSING MEMBERS*

TOO RIPE MELONS is too far gone. Where she be? (We probably won’t list her
next month, so we hope she comes back! *Sniff*)

Also missing are members of Chapter One of the Ek-sen-triks CluborGuild who
haven’t been seen for years (some of whom may not even know about the
Principia Discordia, so please help us enlighten them!) Among these are
PRUDENCE, THE UNKNOWN HOMECOMING QUEEN, SHOE, KERMIT,
GENERALISSIMO STEFAN CARNICERO, SHELLY (we can’t remember her ECG
name), T. BRUNO (ibid), CAPTAIN PARASITE and others. If you know who
these people are and/or know their emails, please let us know!

*SACRED CHAO VS. HOLY CHAO*

A debate continues on whether the tattoo on the belly of Saint THE MARY
should be referred to as the “Holy Chao,” or the “Sacred Chao.” The symbol is
called the “Sacred Chao” in the Principia Discordia, but hers comes with a belly
button, which makes it a “Holy (holey) Chao.” With the votes we have so far, it’s
63 percent “Sacred Cow” and 38 percent “Holy Cow.” (Yes, we know that equals
101 percent--we’re rounding off, ok?). That’s without counting the vote for
“Target for My Affections.”

We’ll make a final decision on 14 Aftermath 3170 (2 November 2004), which we
think is the American’s Erection Day. Although of course we’d pretty much go
with whatever THE MARY decides, if she gives us a decision.

*DISCORDIANS (RE)INVENTED THE PEACE SIGN*
You may remember, or have even used, the one-handed peace sign (what is
the sound of one hand getting the clap?) It’s index finger and middle finger up
and forming a V, while the ring finger and pinky are down and touched by the
thumb crossing over the palm (some people just touch the ring finger with the
thumb, but that still works). But did you know this was invented (or at least
reinterpreted) by the Discordians?

The symbol was previously used by Illuminatus Winston Churchill (if you don’t
know who he was, do a web search right now and get educated before your
brain freezes). He used it as a “Victory” sign, i.e., the V formed by the index and
middle finger standing for “Victory.” The early Discordians thought it would be
fun to make this sign their secret greeting, something like the Masonic
Handshake (note that some theorists maintain that 23rd level Masons are
Illuminati). But secrets have a way of getting out, and some innocent hippies
saw the sign used and wondered at its meaning. One of these early Discordians
thought it would be funny to say that rather than symbolizing Victory in War, it
was a Peace Sign. Innocent hippies everywhere adopted it, and you can even
find it described in the dictionary.

Note that according to author and famous Discordian Robert Anton Wilson (“The
Illuminatus Trilogy”) aka Mordecai Malignatus, it not only symbolizes the
Discordian number 5 (five fingers, and the V being the Roman symbol for five), it
also symbolizes the Bavarian Illuminati 23 (two fingers up, three fingers down).

*ANSWER TO LAST MONTH’S QUIRKY QUIZ*

Thanks to UNICORNIA who correctly answered last month’s quiz. For those of
who who were snoozing (eating too much turkey will do that to you), here’s the
question: There’s two things in the world that smell like fish. One of them’s fish.
What’s the other thing?

The correct answer was “My pussy cat.” Pussy cats love to eat fish, and after
they eat it, they smell like fish. Congrats to UNICORNIA! (By the way, we’d love
to feature her humorous poem, “Would You Like to See My Pussy?” here, but it
may soon be considered for publication elsewhere. Think of us for reprint
rights!)

*THIS MONTH’S TURKEY QUIZ*
What famous singer/composer/musician/political activist appeared on Saturday
Night Live and sang in a turkey costume? And what ironically appropriate song
did he sing?

*COMING HOLYDAYS*

AFFLUX: 50 Aftermath 3170 (8 December 2004) This is the primary holiday of
the Season of Aftermath, which we’re now in. This 73-day-season honors
Patron Apostle The Elder Malaclypse. Just do something having to do with
Aftermath or Afflux, and have fun!

*THIS MONTH’S READINGS FROM THE FIVE HOLY BOOKS*
(of the D & D of the E.C.G.)

PRINCIPIA DISCORDIA, 4TH EDITION: Page 00064 that describes the Turkey
Curse.

APOCRYPHA DISCORDIA, 2ND EDITION: Page 00014

THE BY-LAWS OF THE EK-SEN-TRIKS CLUBORGUILD (if you can find it, send
us a copy): Page 11 to be read on Thursday.

THE BOOK OF LIES AND OTHER GAMES: Gobble up those pages, friends!

SEARS 1975 SPRING AND SUMMER CATALOG: Look for “turkey,” “pilgrim,”
and “Indian” in the index (no, I don’t think you’ll find “Native American” in there.)

*WE KNOW WE SAID THIS LAST ISSUE BUT IT’S REALLY IMPORTANT SO*

If you’re a Citizen of the United States of American and can legally vote, please
do so--if you know what you’re voting on! Please don’t confuse patriotism with
irresponsibility--is voting without knowing what you’re voting on better than not
voting at all? And by the way, for those of you who don’t know, it’s perfectly
legal to vote on those things you do understand, and skip those you don’t.

*THE PARSON’S NOSE OF THE NEWSLETTER*
(For those who don’t know, the tail end of the turkey used to be referred to as
the “parson’s nose.” Anyone know why?)

The Snooze Letter of the Discordian Division of the Ek-sen-triks CluborGuild is
copyright no one in his right mind. If you want to copy it, post it, or print it, just
do it. But don’t change it because that’s the tactic of The Agents of Greyface.

READ ME: If you send us an email, begin the subject of your email with ECG,
Eksentriks, Discordia, or something equally obviously Discordian (make it
obvious!). We just spent two days checking and cleaning out a flock of viruses
and gobs of spyware (if you don’t have protection against both, get them and
use them!), so we don’t ordinarily open attachments unless we KNOW it’s safe.
Send your stuff to Editor (or something that looks a lot like that) at xxxxxx@xxxxxx.
xxx . We Reserve the Right to Post, Edit, and Slice All Contributions. If you do
not want your email or portion of it to appear in the newsletter, tell us or it’s all
your fault.

Let us know if you want on or off our mailing list. We’ll do it as quick as we can,
which might be a few days as we have to clean out the cesspool. We also
welcome suggestions, criticisms, nominations, membership applications,
contributions, and photos of yourself or loved ones dressed in a turkey suit. We
don’t share our email lists with anybody, so if you get any spam it’s not because
of us. And save us the neck.

Note: Did you notice that this month’s theme was turkey, and we never once
mentioned a presidential candidate?