| The Bodyshake: A Discordian Greeting |
| Discordia Home Ek-sen-trik-kuh Discordia Smagmoid Kids Club (Cool Effects) Smagmoid Kids Club (Less Annoying) |
| by Sister Hooter and Captain *Sesame Seed* Rogers, Founders of Smagmoid Kids Club (adapted by Reverend Loveshade from The Smagmoid Kids Club Handbook) |
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| This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 2.5 License. |
The Discordian Division of the Ek-sen-triks CluborGuild has a Secret Handshake*, but
as it's a secret we can't tell you what it is. But you can use the greeting called the
Bodyshake, which is just as good and almost as much fun. It's available for use by
Discordians, Harmonians and Ek-sen-triks everywhere (and, of course, by members
and leaders of the Smagmoid Kids Club).
The bodyshake started with a conflict between Captain 'Sesame Seed' Rogers,
conductor of the Bonobo Boys Band in Boston, and Sister Hooter, disciplinarian for Our
Lady of the Immaculate Conception School for Unwed Mothers. The Captain had
formed Smagmoid Boys (or 'Moid Boys'), and the Sister had formed Smagmoid Girls (or
('Smag Girls'). Each claimed to have had the idea first. This led to a fight where they
stood toe to toe, locked hands, and argued while banging their heads together.
Fortunately, putting their heads together gave them an idea, and they merged. Thus
was created both Smagmoid Kids Club (SKC) and the Bodyshake.
To make the bodyshake, two people face each other and touch toes, one person's left
foot to the other's right foot and visa versa. Each then makes the Ek-sen-trik
Discordian 537 sign** with both hands. The 537 sign is made by holding the palm
outward and then extending the thumb, middle finger and pinky while the index and ring
fingers touch or nearly touch the palm of that hand. Then the left hand of one person
touches the right hand of the other, and the right hand of one touches the other's left
hand. The two people then touch foreheads***. This means they are connected at five
points, more or less. The bodyshakers then move their touching hands and heads
from side to side, preferably while saying 'smagmoid'**** five times. Warning: keep
your feet planted firmly and relatively still or you might both fall over.
* To perform the Secret Handshake: xxx xxxxxx xxxxxx xxxx xxx xxx xxxx xxxxxx xxxxx
xxxxxxxx xxx xxxx xxxxxx xxx xxxx xxxxxxx xxxxxxx xxxxx xxxx. xxxxxx xxx 537 xxxx xxxxx xxxxx
xx xx xxxxxxxxxx xxx xxx xxxxxxxx. xxxx xxx xxx xxxxxx xxxx xxxxx, xxx xxxxx xxxx. xxxxxxx
xxxxxxxx xxxxx xxxxxxx xx xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx.
To perform the semi-secret handshake: each person makes the 537 sign with one
hand, then the two connect their hands with the middle finger of each between the
doubled-over index and ring finger of the other. Then they both slide their middle
fingers in and out of the other's fingers and across the other's palm several times.
** Non Ek-sen-trik Discordians may substitute the Discordian Numeral V Sign. The V
sign, also known as the victory or peace sign, is made by holding the palm outward with
the middle and index finger extended and spread to form a V, while the ring finger and
pinkie are touching the palm and the thumb is touching the ring finger.
*** Bodyshakers may substitute Zen equivalents if they are without hands, feet and/or
heads.
**** Smagmoid Kids and their leaders should say *'Smagmoid Kids' five times. Non
Ek-sen-trik Discordians are free to substitute the word 'fnord' if desired.
as it's a secret we can't tell you what it is. But you can use the greeting called the
Bodyshake, which is just as good and almost as much fun. It's available for use by
Discordians, Harmonians and Ek-sen-triks everywhere (and, of course, by members
and leaders of the Smagmoid Kids Club).
The bodyshake started with a conflict between Captain 'Sesame Seed' Rogers,
conductor of the Bonobo Boys Band in Boston, and Sister Hooter, disciplinarian for Our
Lady of the Immaculate Conception School for Unwed Mothers. The Captain had
formed Smagmoid Boys (or 'Moid Boys'), and the Sister had formed Smagmoid Girls (or
('Smag Girls'). Each claimed to have had the idea first. This led to a fight where they
stood toe to toe, locked hands, and argued while banging their heads together.
Fortunately, putting their heads together gave them an idea, and they merged. Thus
was created both Smagmoid Kids Club (SKC) and the Bodyshake.
To make the bodyshake, two people face each other and touch toes, one person's left
foot to the other's right foot and visa versa. Each then makes the Ek-sen-trik
Discordian 537 sign** with both hands. The 537 sign is made by holding the palm
outward and then extending the thumb, middle finger and pinky while the index and ring
fingers touch or nearly touch the palm of that hand. Then the left hand of one person
touches the right hand of the other, and the right hand of one touches the other's left
hand. The two people then touch foreheads***. This means they are connected at five
points, more or less. The bodyshakers then move their touching hands and heads
from side to side, preferably while saying 'smagmoid'**** five times. Warning: keep
your feet planted firmly and relatively still or you might both fall over.
* To perform the Secret Handshake: xxx xxxxxx xxxxxx xxxx xxx xxx xxxx xxxxxx xxxxx
xxxxxxxx xxx xxxx xxxxxx xxx xxxx xxxxxxx xxxxxxx xxxxx xxxx. xxxxxx xxx 537 xxxx xxxxx xxxxx
xx xx xxxxxxxxxx xxx xxx xxxxxxxx. xxxx xxx xxx xxxxxx xxxx xxxxx, xxx xxxxx xxxx. xxxxxxx
xxxxxxxx xxxxx xxxxxxx xx xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx.
To perform the semi-secret handshake: each person makes the 537 sign with one
hand, then the two connect their hands with the middle finger of each between the
doubled-over index and ring finger of the other. Then they both slide their middle
fingers in and out of the other's fingers and across the other's palm several times.
** Non Ek-sen-trik Discordians may substitute the Discordian Numeral V Sign. The V
sign, also known as the victory or peace sign, is made by holding the palm outward with
the middle and index finger extended and spread to form a V, while the ring finger and
pinkie are touching the palm and the thumb is touching the ring finger.
*** Bodyshakers may substitute Zen equivalents if they are without hands, feet and/or
heads.
**** Smagmoid Kids and their leaders should say *'Smagmoid Kids' five times. Non
Ek-sen-trik Discordians are free to substitute the word 'fnord' if desired.