 |
| The Myth of The Adulthood Fairy A Harmonian-Discordian Fairy Tale |
by Reverend Loveshade with Princess Unicornia and Fairy Princess Yoshikyoko |
| This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 2.5 License. |
This story is not a promotion of preteen
sex, sex with children, homosexuality,
heterosexuality, polyamory, monogamy,
or any other form of sexual activity. It
does promote discussion and an
objective examination of not only
human sexuality, buy of the very notion
of adulthood and childhood.
sex, sex with children, homosexuality,
heterosexuality, polyamory, monogamy,
or any other form of sexual activity. It
does promote discussion and an
objective examination of not only
human sexuality, buy of the very notion
of adulthood and childhood.
| Ek-sen-trik-kuh Discordia: The Tales of Shamlicht |
| Principia Harmonia |
Note: we use the
genderless pronoun
“e” for “he” or “she.”
e = he or she
em = him or her
es = his or her
es = his or hers
emself = himself or
herself
See Who the Hell is E?
genderless pronoun
“e” for “he” or “she.”
e = he or she
em = him or her
es = his or her
es = his or hers
emself = himself or
herself
See Who the Hell is E?
Once upon a time in the land of Nowhen, every human being on Earth was a child. They all
lived in a beautiful garden filled with color-scented flowers and tasty fruit-bearing bushes and
tall-talking trees. These were all watered by a sparkling brook and by fairies named Misty.
The weather was always perfect and the food was always plentiful and delicious. The children
played, ate, slept, climbed trees, swam, ran, skipped, and had lots of fun together and by
themselves. They never had to worry about things like school, jobs, taxes, house payments,
medical insurance, or clothes. They were just happy.
But the Goddess sisters Eris and Aneris weren't. They fought continually. While Eris wanted
the children to improvise their games, Aneris made up rules for them to follow. Then Eris
would tease the children into breaking the rules, then Aneris would make more rules and add
punishments, then Eris would teach the kids how to avoid getting caught, etc. The garden life
which had been fun and beautiful was turning into a mess.
So one day the Goddesses made a compromise: the children would continue being children
for awhile, but then they'd grow up. The sisters called on a fairy named Ditsy who lived in a big
old tree named Big Old Tree, and appointed Ditsy to be the Adulthood Fairy. 'There, now
that's done,' they said. Then Eris ran off giggling to create some chaos and Aneris chased
after to end it, which left the fairy to sort things out alone. For the Goddesses never got
around to telling the confused fairy what adulthood actually was.
But Ditsy was used to being confused, so e went skipping off happily to look for adulthood.
Soon the fairy saw a beautiful butterfly with wings of red, blue, purple, yellow, and green.
'Surely something so beautiful must be wise,' thought the fairy. 'Oh butterfly,' e said. 'Can you
tell me, please, when children become adults?'
'Of course,' said the butterfly. 'Children start out crawling on all their little legs. But watch their
young bodies change. When they get their wings, they're adults.'
'Thank you ever so much,' said the fairy, who skipped off happily.
Then the fairy saw a black bird feeding a caterpillar to some much smaller birds in a nest.
'Hello birds,' said the fairy, smiling. 'I see you're all adults because you all have your wings.'
'Wings?' said the larger bird. 'What's that got to do with it?'
'Well,' started the fairy, 'this butterfly said--'
'We eat butterflies,' said the bird. 'They don't know anything. When children are trained to fly,
when they're ready to leave the nest and go off on their own, that's when they're adults.'
'OK, thank you,' said the fairy just slightly confused, but e figured if birds ate butterflies they
must be wiser. So e skipped on.
Then e saw a school of salmon all swimming upstream together. 'I see you're all still together,'
said the fairy. 'That means you're all children.'
'Children?' said one of the salmon. 'We're swimming upstream to spawn. We're all adults.'
'Adults? But this bird said--'
'You're taking advice from a bird? Ha! Birds can't even breathe under water; what do they
know?' said another salmon, who had to take a deep breath before continuing the hard swim.
'When you want to have sex, that's when you're an adult.'
Other salmon said, 'yep,' 'that's it,' 'so true,' and 'damn, I really want to have sex.'
'Hmm,' said the fairy, confused. But Ditsy figured a school of salmon must have learned a lot
more than one bird, so e soon began skipping again, if a little less sprightly.
Then Ditsy saw a group of bonobo apes. Some were small, some medium-sized, and some
were large. But they were all engaging in sexual activity with each other. 'I see you're all
adults,' said the fairy, 'because you're all having sex.'
'Sex?' said a little girl bonobo who was having quality time rubbing Daddy. 'What does adult
have to do with sex?'
'Nothing, dear,' said the young one's Mommy, who was being humped by the girl's young
friend. 'Don't listen to fairies.'
The fairy was very confused. 'But the salmon all said--'
'You listen to fish?' said a female bonobo who was getting licked by another female.
'Adulthood isn't when you want sex--everybody wants and has sex. Adulthood is when you can
produce children. Oh my, that feels good.'
Ditsy left completely confused, trudged home, and plopped on the ground in front of es tree.
'How am I ever going to know when human children are ready to become adults? Is it when
their bodies change, or when they're trained to take care of themselves and can leave for a
new home, or when they want sex, or when they can produce children of their own?' The fairy
banged es head against the tree in frustration.
'How can I sleep when you plop on the ground, cry out loud, and bang me with your head?'
said Big Old Tree. 'Never mind,' said the tree, before the fairy could start a long tirade of
apology. 'Listen. My body never changes much, I never left this spot and don't plan to, I don't
want sex, and I'm not having any children. And I am not a child. But I can tell you when a child
is ready to be an adult. It's simple.'
'It is?' said Ditsy, excited.
'Of course. Just ignore all that animal stuff, and listen to your home tree. You can tell when a
child is ready to be an adult by counting its rings. When a child grows enough rings, it's an
adult. Good day.' And with that, the tree went back to sleep.
'Count the rings!' said the fairy in an excited whisper, trying not to wake up the tree. 'Count
the rings. Count the rings? But humans don't grow rings!'
But then Ditsy smiled. 'Of course! People don't have rings, but rings show years. I can know
when a child is ready to be an adult by counting its years!'
So Ditsy Fairy spread the tale of the rings to people far and wide. Unfortunately, the fairy had
no idea how many years it took to become an adult, and neither did anybody else. So every
society made up its own number. This grew more and more confusing with time. While an
early 20th century adult needed 20 years in Austria, the number changed from 21 to 20 to 18
years in Norway. In Monaco in the early 21st century, an adult needed 21 years. The magic
number was 21 in the 20th but then later 18 in America, or 13, 14, 16 or 17 for some things,
depending on your gender. The Japanese made it 12 or 13 in some ways and 18 in others;
the English made it 16; the Aztecs put it at 15. The Jews said it was 12 for girls and 13 for
boys--old enough for marriage and sex, but not to read certain scriptures (the sexy parts you
read at age 30, if you were male). The 20th century Quiche Indians in Guatemala accepted
one as an adult at age 10. And the Christian Church in the Middle Ages said the age of
adulthood for almost everything, including when one could be tried and punished and even
executed, was age 7. Interestingly, neither the Christian Bible nor the Jewish Torah gave a
minimum age for adulthood, marriage or sex.
Aneris tried to get societies to stick to a definite age to keep everything ordered. But the more
laws they made that defined specific ages for specific things, the more chaos and disorder it
created for those societies, and for Aneris. And that amused Eris no end.
So that is why societies that learn from nature consider the individual as an individual. They
may say adulthood comes when a child's body begins to change, or when a child is prepared
for life, or when e is ready to mate, or when e is capable of having children. These cultures
have different natural methods, but they all can work. And that is why societies that think that
adulthood should be defined by an arbitrary age are the same ones that believe in fairy tales.
lived in a beautiful garden filled with color-scented flowers and tasty fruit-bearing bushes and
tall-talking trees. These were all watered by a sparkling brook and by fairies named Misty.
The weather was always perfect and the food was always plentiful and delicious. The children
played, ate, slept, climbed trees, swam, ran, skipped, and had lots of fun together and by
themselves. They never had to worry about things like school, jobs, taxes, house payments,
medical insurance, or clothes. They were just happy.
But the Goddess sisters Eris and Aneris weren't. They fought continually. While Eris wanted
the children to improvise their games, Aneris made up rules for them to follow. Then Eris
would tease the children into breaking the rules, then Aneris would make more rules and add
punishments, then Eris would teach the kids how to avoid getting caught, etc. The garden life
which had been fun and beautiful was turning into a mess.
So one day the Goddesses made a compromise: the children would continue being children
for awhile, but then they'd grow up. The sisters called on a fairy named Ditsy who lived in a big
old tree named Big Old Tree, and appointed Ditsy to be the Adulthood Fairy. 'There, now
that's done,' they said. Then Eris ran off giggling to create some chaos and Aneris chased
after to end it, which left the fairy to sort things out alone. For the Goddesses never got
around to telling the confused fairy what adulthood actually was.
But Ditsy was used to being confused, so e went skipping off happily to look for adulthood.
Soon the fairy saw a beautiful butterfly with wings of red, blue, purple, yellow, and green.
'Surely something so beautiful must be wise,' thought the fairy. 'Oh butterfly,' e said. 'Can you
tell me, please, when children become adults?'
'Of course,' said the butterfly. 'Children start out crawling on all their little legs. But watch their
young bodies change. When they get their wings, they're adults.'
'Thank you ever so much,' said the fairy, who skipped off happily.
Then the fairy saw a black bird feeding a caterpillar to some much smaller birds in a nest.
'Hello birds,' said the fairy, smiling. 'I see you're all adults because you all have your wings.'
'Wings?' said the larger bird. 'What's that got to do with it?'
'Well,' started the fairy, 'this butterfly said--'
'We eat butterflies,' said the bird. 'They don't know anything. When children are trained to fly,
when they're ready to leave the nest and go off on their own, that's when they're adults.'
'OK, thank you,' said the fairy just slightly confused, but e figured if birds ate butterflies they
must be wiser. So e skipped on.
Then e saw a school of salmon all swimming upstream together. 'I see you're all still together,'
said the fairy. 'That means you're all children.'
'Children?' said one of the salmon. 'We're swimming upstream to spawn. We're all adults.'
'Adults? But this bird said--'
'You're taking advice from a bird? Ha! Birds can't even breathe under water; what do they
know?' said another salmon, who had to take a deep breath before continuing the hard swim.
'When you want to have sex, that's when you're an adult.'
Other salmon said, 'yep,' 'that's it,' 'so true,' and 'damn, I really want to have sex.'
'Hmm,' said the fairy, confused. But Ditsy figured a school of salmon must have learned a lot
more than one bird, so e soon began skipping again, if a little less sprightly.
Then Ditsy saw a group of bonobo apes. Some were small, some medium-sized, and some
were large. But they were all engaging in sexual activity with each other. 'I see you're all
adults,' said the fairy, 'because you're all having sex.'
'Sex?' said a little girl bonobo who was having quality time rubbing Daddy. 'What does adult
have to do with sex?'
'Nothing, dear,' said the young one's Mommy, who was being humped by the girl's young
friend. 'Don't listen to fairies.'
The fairy was very confused. 'But the salmon all said--'
'You listen to fish?' said a female bonobo who was getting licked by another female.
'Adulthood isn't when you want sex--everybody wants and has sex. Adulthood is when you can
produce children. Oh my, that feels good.'
Ditsy left completely confused, trudged home, and plopped on the ground in front of es tree.
'How am I ever going to know when human children are ready to become adults? Is it when
their bodies change, or when they're trained to take care of themselves and can leave for a
new home, or when they want sex, or when they can produce children of their own?' The fairy
banged es head against the tree in frustration.
'How can I sleep when you plop on the ground, cry out loud, and bang me with your head?'
said Big Old Tree. 'Never mind,' said the tree, before the fairy could start a long tirade of
apology. 'Listen. My body never changes much, I never left this spot and don't plan to, I don't
want sex, and I'm not having any children. And I am not a child. But I can tell you when a child
is ready to be an adult. It's simple.'
'It is?' said Ditsy, excited.
'Of course. Just ignore all that animal stuff, and listen to your home tree. You can tell when a
child is ready to be an adult by counting its rings. When a child grows enough rings, it's an
adult. Good day.' And with that, the tree went back to sleep.
'Count the rings!' said the fairy in an excited whisper, trying not to wake up the tree. 'Count
the rings. Count the rings? But humans don't grow rings!'
But then Ditsy smiled. 'Of course! People don't have rings, but rings show years. I can know
when a child is ready to be an adult by counting its years!'
So Ditsy Fairy spread the tale of the rings to people far and wide. Unfortunately, the fairy had
no idea how many years it took to become an adult, and neither did anybody else. So every
society made up its own number. This grew more and more confusing with time. While an
early 20th century adult needed 20 years in Austria, the number changed from 21 to 20 to 18
years in Norway. In Monaco in the early 21st century, an adult needed 21 years. The magic
number was 21 in the 20th but then later 18 in America, or 13, 14, 16 or 17 for some things,
depending on your gender. The Japanese made it 12 or 13 in some ways and 18 in others;
the English made it 16; the Aztecs put it at 15. The Jews said it was 12 for girls and 13 for
boys--old enough for marriage and sex, but not to read certain scriptures (the sexy parts you
read at age 30, if you were male). The 20th century Quiche Indians in Guatemala accepted
one as an adult at age 10. And the Christian Church in the Middle Ages said the age of
adulthood for almost everything, including when one could be tried and punished and even
executed, was age 7. Interestingly, neither the Christian Bible nor the Jewish Torah gave a
minimum age for adulthood, marriage or sex.
Aneris tried to get societies to stick to a definite age to keep everything ordered. But the more
laws they made that defined specific ages for specific things, the more chaos and disorder it
created for those societies, and for Aneris. And that amused Eris no end.
So that is why societies that learn from nature consider the individual as an individual. They
may say adulthood comes when a child's body begins to change, or when a child is prepared
for life, or when e is ready to mate, or when e is capable of having children. These cultures
have different natural methods, but they all can work. And that is why societies that think that
adulthood should be defined by an arbitrary age are the same ones that believe in fairy tales.
| THE END |
| Reverend Loveshade: Episkopos of the Discordian Division of the Ek-sen-triks CluborGuild Princess Unicornia & Fairy Princess Yoshikyoko: Founders of the Mythics of Harmonia |
Note: we use genderless pronouns: e = he or she; em = him or her; es = his or her; es = his or hers; emself =
himself or herself. For more details, see Who the Hell is E?
himself or herself. For more details, see Who the Hell is E?
| As found in the collections |
"When they get their
wings, they're adults."
--Butterfly
wings, they're adults."
--Butterfly
"When children are
trained to fly, when
they're ready to leave the
nest and go off on their
own, that's when they're
adults."
--Bird
trained to fly, when
they're ready to leave the
nest and go off on their
own, that's when they're
adults."
--Bird
"When you want to have
sex, that's when you're
an adult."
--Salmon
sex, that's when you're
an adult."
--Salmon
“Adulthood isn't when
you want sex--
everybody wants and
has sex. Adulthood is
when you can produce
children."
--Bonobo ape
you want sex--
everybody wants and
has sex. Adulthood is
when you can produce
children."
--Bonobo ape
"When a child grows
enough rings, it's an
adult."
--Big Old Tree
enough rings, it's an
adult."
--Big Old Tree
| New and Improved on 16 Confusion 3174 Approved by the Illuminaughty Council of Creation Myths of Oddpeace, California |
'(Childhood) is a social and cultural
construct that has changed radically over
time and will continue to change.'
-- April Brayfield, sociologist (21st century)
construct that has changed radically over
time and will continue to change.'
-- April Brayfield, sociologist (21st century)
'Unlike infancy, childhood is a social artifact,
not a biological category....there is ample
evidence that children have existed for less
than four hundred years....In the fullest
sense in which the average American
understands it, childhood is not much more
than one hundred and fifty years old.'
-- Neil Postman, The Disappearance of
Childhood (1994)
not a biological category....there is ample
evidence that children have existed for less
than four hundred years....In the fullest
sense in which the average American
understands it, childhood is not much more
than one hundred and fifty years old.'
-- Neil Postman, The Disappearance of
Childhood (1994)
'In medieval society the idea of childhood
did not exist.'
-- Philippe Ari's, French historian
(translated) (1960)
did not exist.'
-- Philippe Ari's, French historian
(translated) (1960)