This interview is copyright 2007 by Adam Newton.
We made the wallpaper, but you can use it for
whatever you like.
Adam Newton is a freelance writer and educator.  Newton has written for books,
magazines, newspapers, radio and television.  We're honored that e agreed to interview
many of the contributors to our we're-working-to-get-it-published book,
Ek-sen-trik-kuh Discordia: The Tales of Shamlicht.
October 3
2007 CE
57 Bureaucracy
3173 YOLD
I was a little hesitant about interviewing Reverend Loveshade and the other major contributors to the
controversial book
Ek-sen-trik-kuh Discordia: The Tales of Shamlicht.  First, I knew they'd be eccentric;
second, I knew they'd be Discordian; and third, I knew I'd be traveling to the planet Eta Mu Pi by riding on the
back of Fearless Fred's Galactic Moped.  But I reasoned that because I refused to believe the trip was real but
did believe I was the one recording the account, I could make my trip safe, easy and fun by simply reporting
that it happened that way.  Therefore I'm reporting that my trip was safe, easy and fun.

After landing and getting wrong directions from a pair of hairy space ravers and later from a free-loving, egg-
laying gal named Eggscream, I finally found the right spot in Forest Kelly.  I saw the group's Sacred Chao with
Killifish symbol on a sign that said, 'Come on in, the water's fine.'  I knew the Discordian Division of the Ek-sen-
triks CluborGuild and associates had been investigated by the authorities on planet Earth, so I wondered at the
meaning of the mysterious, coded message.  Later I learned its true meaning was, 'Come on in, the water's fine.'

I climbed up the imported hemp rope ladder and, being a reporter, entered the tree house without knocking.  I
saw my interviewees lounging in a living wooden hot tub, formed by the tree itself, that was roomy enough for
four people.  It held at least eight.  Sometimes it held more.   As most of them were naked, which I'd learned
was common on Eta Mu Pi, I slipped out of my traditional early 21st century Western Earthman T-shirt, blue
jeans, running shoes and boxer shorts and hopped in.  The water was not too hot, not too cold.  It was just right.

'Hi, I'm
Adam Newton, the guy assigned to interview all of you,' I said.  Most of them ignored me.  A three-eyed
girl and an equally naked horse-headed being with four breasts were too busy playing
The Cloved Lemon
Kissing Game to bother with me.  The cloved lemon was given by and to various people in exchange for a kiss
throughout the interview.

The people who at least acknowledged my existence included a unitaur–horse from the waist down, brunette
girl from the waist up with a unicorn horn accenting the middle of her forehead (
Princess Unicornia); a four-
winged fairy girl whose height was about the length of my foot (
Fairy Princess Yoshikyoko); a Mid-Eastern
European man with a full salt-and-pepper beard who wore glasses and a pair of red briefs (
Dr. Sinister
);  a thin transgendered, transracial, transfictional human with long blond-highlighted red hair and black
sunglasses (
Untroubled Teen); and a man covered in black and white water-proof body paint in a chess board
pattern who was wearing a Leonardo da Vinci mask through which he smoked a pipe (
Reverend Loveshade).  
None of these five were wearing anything else, except for Untroubled Teen, who wore a thin white sheet.

Others who moved in and out of the tub were
TawTew the Naturally Perfumed (human woman with turquoise
jewelry and hair both above and below the water line);
Perlie the Pony Girl (platinum blond palomino centaur
girl wearing a white and silver choker with a unicorn);
Sister Hooter (buxom light-skinned human woman
wearing a black and white one-piece bathing suit with hair covered in a black and white headdress);
'Sesame Seed' Rogers
(dark-skinned human man wearing a multicolored early 20th century English band
Sister Lorraine of Fairy Tree (brunette French-American human girl wearing a traditional late
20th/early 21st century Earth white-bloused, checkered-skirt school girl uniform that was untraditionally
soaked); and
Nixie Nurita (blond, blue-eyed Nixie girl wearing a smile).  There was also a naked human-
looking skull (
Binky the WonderSkull).  We were briefly joined later by The Mary (woman garbed with a holy
but unEarthly white glow).

Note that many of those interviewed used 'e' for 'he' or 'she;' 'es' for 'his' or 'her' or 'hers;' 'em' for 'him' or 'her;'
etc.  These non-gendered terms are common on Eta Mu Pi, and in the book.
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