| (These being orders that we don’t think are all that important. Your photo/story showing you qualify for one of these, or suggestions for a new disorder, may be sent to our email address listed on our home page) |
| Also see The Orders |
| This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 2.5 License. |
| The wallpaper is part of Yahoo! Sitebuilder. The Illuminati symbol is copyright free according to Wikipedia. |
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| Compiled by Reverend Loveshade |
Lesser Order of Unregistered Sex Offenders (u.s.o.): Reserved for all those individuals who
have committed, tried or planned to commit, or contemplated committing an act of a sexual nature
that, by the contemporary community standards of somebody somewhere, would be considered
extremely naughty. To qualify, the act(s) must be consensual (or imaginary), and thus nobody else’s
damn business. No proof is required for membership, as probably 98.6% or more of the population
qualifies anyway. In fact, we don’t want any proof. It’s none of our damn business either.
Lesser Order of the Born Again Virgin (b.a.v.): This disorder was either formed by Relic Wearer
Minnie Rae in her past life in prehistoric Babylon (where she was known as “The Harlot of the Healing
Hymen”); followers of The Virgin Mary (who convinced people she was a virgin after she got
pregnant); or was inspired by an episode of “King of the Hill.”
There are five requirements for membership in the Lesser Order of the Born Again Virgin: 1) the
candidate must have lost her/his/es/its/their virginity; 2) the candidate must abstain from sexual
congress during the entire initiation process; 3) the candidate must successfully pass a class officially
recognized as qualifying for the lesser order; 4) the candidate must promise/swear/state/assert/affirm
by oath/prayer/recitation/chant/ad copy to remain a virgin until marriage/cohabitation (current
marriage/cohabitation counts) or for at least five days, whichever comes first; 5) the candidate must
complete the initiation by being completely immersed in water while wearing a thin white robe or
sheet. (This is because white represents purity, and the thin sheet represents the thin skin of the
restored maidenhead--we don’t know what it represents if you’re a guy). Other than medically-
required devices, nothing else may be worn by the candidate except a single pair of panties, boxers,
briefs or the equivalent (but underwear is strictly optional). Membership in the order is lost upon any
act of sexual congress, even if within marriage/cohabitation. But, provided you re-qualify, you may
rejoin this order as many times as you like.
Lesser Order of Binky the WonderSkull Posers (b.w.p.): Reserved for those who posed for a
photo/taping with Binky the WonderSkull. Proof must be shown.
Lesser Order of Bearers of Erisian Tattoos: (b.e.t.): Membership is only open to those who bear
at least one tattoo having to do with Eris/Discordia or the Ek-sen-trik Discordian movement (proof is
required). Temporary tattoos can give you temporary membership, good for as long as the tattoo
lasts. Patron Saint is Saint The Mary.
Lesser Order of Smagmoid (o.s.), sometimes known as Lesser Smagmoid Disorder (l.s.d.):
Honors those individuals who exhibit the true qualities of smagmoid, which are smagmoidness,
smagmoidation, smagmoidality, smagmoidaliciousness, and smagmoid. Proof must be shown.
Alternately, the individual could submit 69 images/descriptions of smagmoidoodity, 42 of
smagmoideroticism, or at least 23 of explicit smagmoidornography. Anyone who writes an accepted
smagmoidally-oriented thesis shall earn and be entitled to the title Doctor of Smagmoidology (D.S.).
The first person who actually defines “smagmoid” (if accepted as proven by Persons in a Position to
Know) will be elevated post obitum to the exalted and coveted elevation of Saint of Smagmoid.
Lesser Order of Smagmoid Kids Club (s.k.c.): Reserved for members and leaders of Smagmoid
Kids Club, which we think would be rather obvious.
Lesser Disorder of The Duck Imbibers (t.d.i.): Membership is granted to anyone who willingly or
unwittingly drank of the Hodge-Podge of Spirits that came from the Holy Relic The Duck. If you can
remember doing this, you probably didn’t.
Lower Disorder of Mutant Alien Cabbage Eaters (m.a.c.e.): Open to all who have consumed an
entire cabbage, especially one of the mutant space alien cabbages that planned to invade Earth while
disguised as human beings. (Note that cabbages are excluded from membership--we don’t condone
cabbage cannibalism).
have committed, tried or planned to commit, or contemplated committing an act of a sexual nature
that, by the contemporary community standards of somebody somewhere, would be considered
extremely naughty. To qualify, the act(s) must be consensual (or imaginary), and thus nobody else’s
damn business. No proof is required for membership, as probably 98.6% or more of the population
qualifies anyway. In fact, we don’t want any proof. It’s none of our damn business either.
Lesser Order of the Born Again Virgin (b.a.v.): This disorder was either formed by Relic Wearer
Minnie Rae in her past life in prehistoric Babylon (where she was known as “The Harlot of the Healing
Hymen”); followers of The Virgin Mary (who convinced people she was a virgin after she got
pregnant); or was inspired by an episode of “King of the Hill.”
There are five requirements for membership in the Lesser Order of the Born Again Virgin: 1) the
candidate must have lost her/his/es/its/their virginity; 2) the candidate must abstain from sexual
congress during the entire initiation process; 3) the candidate must successfully pass a class officially
recognized as qualifying for the lesser order; 4) the candidate must promise/swear/state/assert/affirm
by oath/prayer/recitation/chant/ad copy to remain a virgin until marriage/cohabitation (current
marriage/cohabitation counts) or for at least five days, whichever comes first; 5) the candidate must
complete the initiation by being completely immersed in water while wearing a thin white robe or
sheet. (This is because white represents purity, and the thin sheet represents the thin skin of the
restored maidenhead--we don’t know what it represents if you’re a guy). Other than medically-
required devices, nothing else may be worn by the candidate except a single pair of panties, boxers,
briefs or the equivalent (but underwear is strictly optional). Membership in the order is lost upon any
act of sexual congress, even if within marriage/cohabitation. But, provided you re-qualify, you may
rejoin this order as many times as you like.
Lesser Order of Binky the WonderSkull Posers (b.w.p.): Reserved for those who posed for a
photo/taping with Binky the WonderSkull. Proof must be shown.
Lesser Order of Bearers of Erisian Tattoos: (b.e.t.): Membership is only open to those who bear
at least one tattoo having to do with Eris/Discordia or the Ek-sen-trik Discordian movement (proof is
required). Temporary tattoos can give you temporary membership, good for as long as the tattoo
lasts. Patron Saint is Saint The Mary.
Lesser Order of Smagmoid (o.s.), sometimes known as Lesser Smagmoid Disorder (l.s.d.):
Honors those individuals who exhibit the true qualities of smagmoid, which are smagmoidness,
smagmoidation, smagmoidality, smagmoidaliciousness, and smagmoid. Proof must be shown.
Alternately, the individual could submit 69 images/descriptions of smagmoidoodity, 42 of
smagmoideroticism, or at least 23 of explicit smagmoidornography. Anyone who writes an accepted
smagmoidally-oriented thesis shall earn and be entitled to the title Doctor of Smagmoidology (D.S.).
The first person who actually defines “smagmoid” (if accepted as proven by Persons in a Position to
Know) will be elevated post obitum to the exalted and coveted elevation of Saint of Smagmoid.
Lesser Order of Smagmoid Kids Club (s.k.c.): Reserved for members and leaders of Smagmoid
Kids Club, which we think would be rather obvious.
Lesser Disorder of The Duck Imbibers (t.d.i.): Membership is granted to anyone who willingly or
unwittingly drank of the Hodge-Podge of Spirits that came from the Holy Relic The Duck. If you can
remember doing this, you probably didn’t.
Lower Disorder of Mutant Alien Cabbage Eaters (m.a.c.e.): Open to all who have consumed an
entire cabbage, especially one of the mutant space alien cabbages that planned to invade Earth while
disguised as human beings. (Note that cabbages are excluded from membership--we don’t condone
cabbage cannibalism).
Those who fulfill the requirement(s) for one of the lesser orders may put the appropriate initials after
their Member Name/Holy Name, or Legal Name if they really want to. It is not necessary to be a
member of the Ek-sen-trik Discordians or Mythics of Harmonia to join one of these orders (or
disorders; you can call them either one we don’t care), but cabbages are not accepted. Because
these are lesser orders, the initials should be written in lower case, but we won’t publicly stone you if
you use capitals. Example: Binky the WonderSkull, u.h.
their Member Name/Holy Name, or Legal Name if they really want to. It is not necessary to be a
member of the Ek-sen-trik Discordians or Mythics of Harmonia to join one of these orders (or
disorders; you can call them either one we don’t care), but cabbages are not accepted. Because
these are lesser orders, the initials should be written in lower case, but we won’t publicly stone you if
you use capitals. Example: Binky the WonderSkull, u.h.
| Slightly Revised on 12 Chaos 3173 (for no particular reason) |
| THE LESSER DISORDERS OF THE DISCORDIAN DIVISION OF THE EK-SEN-TRIKS CLUBORGUILD |
| THE LESSER DISORDERS OF MYTHICS OF HARMONIA |
Lesser Disorder of Underwear Heads (u.h. or alternately d.u.h.): Membership is granted to all
who openly wore underwear on their head in public (by “head” we mean the body part that usually
houses the brain). While doing so when no one sees you does not qualify, being seen so doing in a
publicly viewed image (photo, movie, etc.) is acceptable.
Lesser Disorder of Princess Amber’s Pacifier Suckers (aka Lesser Disorder of Princess
Amber’s Pacified Suckers) (p.a.p.s.): Reserved for those who engaged in a duly witnessed act of
succulation upon one of the multitudinous pacifiers belonging to Princess Amber, Ninth in Line of
Succession for the Throne of the Fifth House of Cards of Eta Mu Pi. This is preferably right after it
was in someone else’s mouth (or other body cavity), ideally that of the princess. It is, however,
acceptable to use an oral dam, or first put on a rubber.
If you can’t find a pacifier that’s claimed by the succulent princess, you can grab any pacifier and
declare, “With Goddess as my witness, I hereby proclaim this pacifier to belong to Princess Amber,
Ninth in Line of Succession for the Throne of the Fifth House of Cards of Eta Mu Pi.” Then suck.
(The princess’ pacifier collection has recently been recognized as a Lesser Relic.)
Lesser Disorder of Cloved Lemon Kissers (c.l.k.) or Lesser Disorder of the Cloved Lemon (c.
l.): Membership is open to all those who osculated while participating in the Cloved Lemon Kissing
Game. Ritualistic contact must be made between the mouth of one participant and a body part of
another (willing body parts only).
who openly wore underwear on their head in public (by “head” we mean the body part that usually
houses the brain). While doing so when no one sees you does not qualify, being seen so doing in a
publicly viewed image (photo, movie, etc.) is acceptable.
Lesser Disorder of Princess Amber’s Pacifier Suckers (aka Lesser Disorder of Princess
Amber’s Pacified Suckers) (p.a.p.s.): Reserved for those who engaged in a duly witnessed act of
succulation upon one of the multitudinous pacifiers belonging to Princess Amber, Ninth in Line of
Succession for the Throne of the Fifth House of Cards of Eta Mu Pi. This is preferably right after it
was in someone else’s mouth (or other body cavity), ideally that of the princess. It is, however,
acceptable to use an oral dam, or first put on a rubber.
If you can’t find a pacifier that’s claimed by the succulent princess, you can grab any pacifier and
declare, “With Goddess as my witness, I hereby proclaim this pacifier to belong to Princess Amber,
Ninth in Line of Succession for the Throne of the Fifth House of Cards of Eta Mu Pi.” Then suck.
(The princess’ pacifier collection has recently been recognized as a Lesser Relic.)
Lesser Disorder of Cloved Lemon Kissers (c.l.k.) or Lesser Disorder of the Cloved Lemon (c.
l.): Membership is open to all those who osculated while participating in the Cloved Lemon Kissing
Game. Ritualistic contact must be made between the mouth of one participant and a body part of
another (willing body parts only).
| Ek-sen-trik-kuh Discordia: The Tales of Shamlicht |
| Principia Harmonia |
| As found in the collections |