|Five Basic Beliefs:
A Discordian Version of the
|This work is licensed under a
2) We believe in the
responsibility of the
individual to society.
1) We believe in the
rights of an individual to
be treated as an
individual by society.
4) We believe in
personal freedom, in a
free society, if it harms
5) We believe in the
principle of 'discordia
concurs' or 'harmonious
discord,' that accepting
differences to achieve
harmony is greater than
excluding differences to
3) We believe in the
rights of a child to be
raised in a loving,
supportive manner that
blends freedom with
discipline to prepare that
child for life, and in the
caregivers to provide that
The Tales of
"The laws that a person must follow
should not be more numerous,
complex, obscure nor difficult than that
person could reasonably know and
-- Alden Loveshade
"Walk a mile in your neighbor's shoes."
-- Chao tse-Tung,
seller of previously worn footwear
*Love your neighbor as yourself.*
-- Motto of the Eristotlean Seminary
for Mutual Masturbation
1) We believe in the rights of an individual to be treated as an individual by society.
This is fundamental to Discordianism. We are each an individual, and not part of the
cabbage patch clones.
The early Discordians chose a humorous, disordered Goddess when society said you could
only worship a humorless, ordered God, thus rejecting religious discrimination and sexism;
chose the Five Apostles of Eris from a variety of ethnic and cultural backgrounds, throwing
out discrimination based on race, culture, and ethnicity; and even said an Episkopos can
walk a path very different from the Discordian mainstream, rejecting whatever isms were left.
These include discrimination based on height, weight, handedness, hair color, body part
size, and our prime target right now, ageism.
Greyfaces are forcing an arbitrary *you*re too young* or *you*re too old* down the throat of
anyone they want to control, and even making it law. These laws, and most laws in general,
are not for the benefit of the individual, but so that those in power can maintain control
We believe in personism, the *non-ism*: a person is a person, not a race, species, age, sex,
color, language, or even sexual preference. Goddess loves them all, and not necessarily
2) We believe in the responsibility of the individual to society.
Some Discordians think their religion is nothing more than sending crank messages on Jake
Day, posting silly and rude comments and pictures, and unexpectedly farting really loudly at
a performance of *The Surprise Symphony*. They miss the point. Thinking it*s all about
creating unnecessary disorder is part of the Eristic Illusion, and is just as bad as the
Aneristic Illusion, believing things improve when you create unnecessary order.
People in society need our help to achieve a balance, not an imbalance in the opposite
direction. You don*t improve anything by performing the Turkey Curse, suddenly grasping
in the air with your hands and saying *gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble* in front of a
poet who*s creatively working out rhyme and rhythm. Unless the poet is stuck and really
needs a good laugh.
Walk a mile in your neighbor*s shoes, enjoy the view from a different perspective--see
things through someone else*s grid for a change. Love your neighbor as yourself is, believe
it or not, a true Discordian principle. And it can be a lot of fun.
3) We believe in the rights of a child to be raised in a loving, supportive manner that blends
freedom with discipline to prepare that child for life, and in the responsibility of caregivers to
provide that environment whenever possible.
As The Smagmoid Kids Club Handbook suggests, *Indoctrinate them when they*re young
before they know what you*re up to.* And as The Golden Secret says in Principia Discordia,
*May you have the knowledge of a sage, and the wisdom of a child.* Don*t cram so much
knowledge into a kid*s head that you push out the wisdom--it*s the wisdom of a child that
knows disorder is as important as order.
So give children love and support, freedom and responsibility. Prepare them for the slings
and arrows of outrageous bureaucratic order, and for the chaotic mud slides of messy
disorder. They*ll both happen.
4) We believe in personal freedom, in a free society, if it harms no one.
This is promoted in the Wiccan Rede as "If if harms none, do as you will;" preached by
democratic societies as separation of church and state/freedom of religion; taught by Jesus
of Nazareth as the distinction between sin (a religion*s moral judgment) and crime (a
government*s legal judgment); and described in juicy detail in the seized book Ain*t
Nobody*s Business If You Do: The Absurdity of Consensual Crimes in Our Free Country by
A totalitarian state and an oppressive theocracy oppose this freedom--do you want to live in
an oppressive state? If not, stay vigilant, and do your part for true freedom, not the kind
that comes machine gift wrapped and stamped *Property of the Government--Don*t Open
Until We Tell You To.*
5) We believe in the principle of *discordia concurs* or *harmonious discord,* that accepting
even discordant differences to achieve harmony is greater than excluding differences to
Even Discordians can fall into the *Everybody should be like me and follow the same rules*
trap. *You shouldn*t copyright anything Discordian--that*s so Greyface;* *All the new stuff is
crap--it*s just not like the good old Principia."
Well, Principia Discordia says, *A person belonging to one or more Order is just as likely to
carry a flag of the counter-establishment as the flag of the establishment--just so long as it
is a flag.* If you find yourself carrying around a flag all the time, even if it*s in your own
head, it might be time for a good, old-fashioned flag burning.
And if your *free society* has outlawed or is seriously considering outlawing flag burning,
where the symbol of freedom becomes more important than the freedom it symbolizes, your
society is in deep doo doo. It might be time to use it as fertilizer, and plant some seeds to
grow something better. Remember what the Principia says: *Bullshit makes the flowers grow
& that*s beautiful.*