| Snooze Letter April 2006 |
| A sample Snooze Letter of the Discordian Division of the Ek-sen-triks CluborGuild |
| Discordian Division of the Ek-sen-triks CluborGuild Snooze Letter April 2006 |
| “The Aneristic-Harmonian Issue” |
| HARMONIOUS DISCORD: Discordian Division of the Ek-sen-triks CluborGuild vs. Mythics of Harmonia Every good group needs a rival, right? Well, we figured so does a lousy one. We recently discovered we had been infiltrated by a secret Illuminati group known as the Mythics of Harmonia. They stole some of our members, some holydays, and even one of our lesser disorders! (Changes to the site are in progress at this writing). We would battle to the death against them, but they’re already half of our membership anyway. Besides, war can be so messy. They claim Aneris is really Harmonia, and got a bad rap from the Discordians just like Discordia (Eris) did from the Greeks. They say Aneris/Harmonia is a really cool Goddess we should accept. Our secret plan is to fight them for awhile, then kiss and make up. Or is that kiss and make out? NEWD MEMBERS We stole one of the Harmonians! Our traitorous member Bellydancer Upyours is no longer spying on us for the Mythics of Harmonia, but is now spying on them for us! This is the kind of member we need: bellydancer, worshipper of Eris, creator of chaos, traitor, and sex offender. Goddess bless you! And Happy Birthday Suit Day! You can email a Birthday Suit Spank to xxxxx@xxxxx.xxx (this email is good thru May 1, 2006). We also stole a member of the Shamlicht Girls! Sister Lorraine of Fairy Tree Pearl's Nest, Fairy Tree) has recently been accepted by the Mythics of Harmonia, but we’ll take the credit anyway. (Lorraine’s parents approved our kidnapping, so there!) COMING HOLYDAYS PROPOSED HOLYDAYS: ACCEPTED! UNDERWEAR DAY: The final count was a lavender thong, a tap panty with bells, a boxer brief, a pair of holey briefs, a pair of rhumba panties, a boxer, and a black leather cat suit with a cape vs. two “nothing comes between me and my Calvins.” So celebrate Underwear Day by wearing nothing but underwear, or at least wear it where people can see it, on August 10! (This is a great day to apply for membership in The Lesser Disorder of Underwear Heads). Now do we call it Intergalactic or Multiversal Underwear Day? PET LOVING DAY: We had two hot dogs and three cool cats vs. one “I Hate Pet Rocks.” (We didn’t count the vote for “I pet myself.”) Celebrate the holiday proposed (if not invented by) Anus Familiarus by loving your pet or someone else’s on February 20! PROPOSED LESSER DISORDER Princess Unicornia and Fairy Princess Yoshikyoko (founders of Mythics of Harmonia, the traitors!) have proposed the Lesser Disorder of Cloved Lemon Kissers or the Lesser Disorder of the Cloved Lemon, and The Cloved Lemon Kissing Game. Let us know your views. (If you want to see these, email us at the email listed on our home page at discordia.loveshade.org). NEWD BEGINNINGS, BABYSITTING, TOILET TISSUE, UNCYCLOPEDIA The Origins of the Ek-sen-trik-kuh Discordia, Babysitter Eris, etc. have been somewhat rewritten to placate the Mythics of Harmonia. New: The Priest of Toilet Tissue tells you how to deal with Finals Week (this can apply to workers as well); and we’ve ripped off the Uncyclopedia article on Reverend Loveshade (does anyone know who wrote this?) INHERITANCE SCAM (To see and comment on the proposed article on an Inheritence Scam, send an email to the address listed on our home page at discordia.loveshade.org. We also want ideas for Our Pantheon and Our Saints (see ED Submission Guidelines). PROPOSALS COMING SOON The Chaochips by C.S. Martin and Steve Lewis, and The Sacred Bowel Movement by Dr. Sinister Craven. * * * * * This Snooze Letter is an oaficious document of the Discordian Division of the Ek-sen-triks CluborGuild, and was stolen for you by the Mythics of Harmonia, and ain’t copyrighted. You're getting this because you contacted us or we really like you. But if you don’t want to get these Snooze Letters, send an email to the address listed on our home page with the subject Unsubscribe. If you or someone you know wants to be added to our emailing list, send an email to the same address with the subject Add Me. If you want to make comments on anything, send an email to the address listed on our home page, discordia.loveshade.org. Send proposed contributions for Ek-sen-trik-kuh Discordia, our site or a future Snooze Letter to the same address. In either case, put something in the subject so we know it’s real email and not spam (something about Discordia/Eris, Harmonia/Aneris, Sacred Chao, ECG, etc., you get the idea). Thank you and have a day! |
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