Ek-sen-trik-kuh
Discordia:
The Tales of
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hamlicht
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Holydays
Ek-sen-trik Discordian Holydays
Holydays of Season of Chaos
Holydays of Season of Discord
Holydays of Season of Confusion
Holydays of Season of Bureaucracy
Holydays of Season of Aftermath
Discordians for
Jesus was
malformed by two
preteens! So why
not? Preteens can be
Discordian too!
St John promoted
this holyday in honor
of emself! That's
Blasphemy! Which is
of course why we
accepted it.
Towel Day honors
Douglas Adams,
an Ek-sen-trik
Discordian Saint.
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Ek-sen-trik Discordian
HOLYDAYS: SEASON OF DISCORD

As ripped off from various sources
by
Reverend Loveshade, Untroubled Teen, and Assorted Others
Episkopos and Sexetary and Others, respectively,
of the
Discordian Division of the Ek-sen-triks CluborGuild
and by Princess Unicornia and Friends
of the Mythics of Harmonia
Here's a short and convenient list of the Holydays of the Season of Discord, with full descriptions below. These
holydays are identified by source: DJ is Discordians for Jesus; ED is the Ek-sen-trik Discordians (Discordian
Division of the Ek-sen-triks CluborGuild); ECG is the Ek-sen-triks CluborGuild; MH is the Mythics of Harmonia;
PD is Principia Discordia; O is Other.
March 19 (5 Discord):  Mojoday (PD) (or Lingananday)
March 25 (11 Discord): Discordians for Jesus/Love Your Neighbor Day
April 1 (18 Discord):  April Fool’s Day (O)
April 2 (19 Discord): St John the Blasphemist's Day (ED)
April 6 (23 Discord): Jake Day (O)
May 3 (50 Discord): Discoflux (PD)
May 23 (70 Discord): Jake Day Jr. (DJ)/Day of the Elppin (MH)
May 25 (72 Discord): Towel Day (O)
March 19 (5 Discord):  Mojoday (PD) (for those of Lord Omar’s sect, Lingananday)  Have an
argument with a friend over which Five Star Saint’s holyday it really is--especially in front of
people who haven’t the faintest idea what you’re talking about.  Take turns chanting “Mojo” and
Lingananda.”  Switch sides.  Use as many obscure Discordian references as possible.  Good
places for this are parks, buses, and city council meetings.

March 25 (11 Discord):
Discordians for Jesus/Love Your Neighbor Day (DJ).  Do you love
Jesus?  Would you like to love your neighbor?  Then this is the holiday for you!  Tell your
Fundamentalist Christian neighbors that the tradition-breaking, authority-challenging, logic-
twisting, wise-cracking, trouble-making Jesus of Nazareth was really a proto- Discordian.  Then
ask them if they want to love you back.  Be prepared to run.

April 1 (18 Discord):  
April Fool’s Day (O).  Fool friends for fun.  Fool enemies for fun.  Fool
yourself for even more fun.  If possible, switch positions/possessions/clothing with your boss,
employee, teacher, student, parent, child, master, slave, etc. for the day.  Let them see how hard
it really is to be you.  See how easy it is to be them.

April 2 (19 Discord):  
St John the Blasphemist Day (ED).  Commit blasphemy against Goddess
Discordia!  Write your representatives and demand they outlaw "funny religions;" send one
hour's salary to the most Aneristic organization you can think of; or eat a bun with a hot dog
made out of the Sacred Chao.  On second thought, recognizing a holy day wouldn't be
blasphemist.  So instead of actually celebrating it, call in sick to work or school and claim a
migraine or diarrhea or a swollen pineal gland.  Then spend all day sleeping, going fishing or
having sex.

April 6 (23 Discord):
Jake Day (O). Get a group of people to send letters, postcards, faxes,
emails, etc. all to hopefully arrive at some business or government agency you want to Jake on
this day (you’re allowed to do Jakes on other days as well, of course).  The messages should
address non-existent concerns, imaginary problems, or be just plain weird.  Examples: assert that
your family’s woolly mammoth should be allowed to run for king, or that you’re positive the
president is actually a pineapple.  Jakes should be fun, not threatening, and are all part of
Operation Mindfuck.

May 3 (50 Discord):
Discoflux (PD). Holyday of the Season of Discord.  Again, the Principia
Discordia doesn’t tell us what to do, but do something that promotes Discord, or maybe Disco.  
Dress as you would to go to a disco sometime in the 1950s through 1970s, imagine you’re the
Disco King or Queen (or both), then begin dancing to the music in your head.  Pretend the
discotheque is at your local market, a playground, or in front of a house of worship.  Leave
before the police arrive.  If one shows up before you depart, tell the officer, “Love the threads.  
Wanna boogie?”  If the officer declines the invitation, apologize profusely for your mistake and
claim you forgot to take your medication.  Better yet, forget the whole thing.

May 23 (70 Discord):
Jake Day Jr. (DJ)/Day of the Elppin (MH).  Pull some small Jakes or
practical jokes, especially those that cause embarrassment or the loss of personal modesty.  In
other words, do like the Elppin do.  Remember, junior jakes should be fun!  And legal.  Don't
forget legal.

May 25 (72 Discord):
Towel Day (O).  Are you one hoopy frood who really knows where your
towel is?  Well, you should be!  Keep a towel with you all day today.  People respect those who
carry a towel.  And if you meet someone who is too foolish to show you respect, use your towel to
cover your eyes.  They'll assume that if you can't see them, they can't see you, and they'll leave
you alone.  At least that's the theory.
An Elppin