The Tales of
42 Discord 3175
|Did you know
thousands of years
old? Gosh, we bet
|Cat Dancing was a
member of the original
CluborGuild who had
really nice feet.
|Muchos Gracias to
Prince Mu-Chao for
this planet Eris in
2005. It finally
happened in late
2006 on the
anniversary of the
birthdate of Eristotle.
|Shamlicht Kids Club
was formed on
October 3, 2007 in a
merger of two clubs
started by Sister
Hooter and Captain
|Did you know this
HCR Day was
proposed by Rev.
DrJon Swabey who
Discordia? Now you
|This work is licensed under a
|But we made the wallpaper and release it into the
HOLYDAYS: SEASON OF BUREAUCRACY
As ripped off from various sources
by Reverend Loveshade, Untroubled Teen, and Assorted Others
Episkopos and Sexetary and Others, respectively,
of the Discordian Division of the Ek-sen-triks CluborGuild
and by Princess Unicornia and Friends
of the Mythics of Harmonia
Here's a short and convenient list of the Holydays of the Season of Bureaucracy, with full descriptions below.
These holydays are identified by source: DJ is Discordians for Jesus; ED is the Ek-sen-trik Discordians
(Discordian Division of the Ek-sen-triks CluborGuild); ECG is the Ek-sen-triks CluborGuild; MH is the Mythics of
Harmonia; PD is Principia Discordia; O is Other.
August 10 (3 Bureaucracy): Multiversal Underwear Day (O)/(MH)
August 12 (5 Bureaucracy): Zaraday (PD)
August 25 (18 Bureaucracy): Festival of Hanky-Panky Spankies (MH)
September 9 (33 Bureaucracy): Cat Dancing & Foot Fetish Day (ED) aka Pussyfoot Day
September 13 (37 Bureaucracy): Mass of Planet Eris/Eristotle (ED)/(MH)
September 26 (50 Bureaucracy): Bureflux (PD)
October 3 (57 Bureaucracy): Shamlicht Kids Club Day (ED)
October 5 (59 Bureaucracy): Gonkulator Day (Gonculator Day) (ED)
October 6 (60 Bureaucracy): Mad Hatter Day (O)
October 12 (66 Bureaucracy): Habeas Corpus Remembrance Day (ED)
August 10 (3 Bureaucracy): Multiversal Underwear Day (O)/(MH). Expose your undies!
Celebrate by wearing nothing but unmentionables in public, or at least by wearing your
underwear, or somebody else’s, where people can see it so they can gawk at you. (This is a
great day to apply for membership in the Lesser Disorder of Underwear Heads.)
August 12 (5 Bureaucracy): Zaraday (PD). Celebrate the Apostle Zarathud by studying the Five
Commandments (the Pentabarf) the Apostle gave us. Carve a copy of them into a stone tablet
(do this in advance--it takes a while). Insist the tablet be planted in the lawn of your local
courthouse. If they refuse, claim religious discrimination.
August 25 (18 Bureaucracy): Festival of Hanky-Panky Spankies (MH). The Mythics version of
Spanking Fest--see November 24 (36 Aftermath).
September 9 (33 Bureaucracy): Cat Dancing Day (also Foot Fetish Day, or Pussyfoot Day)
(ED). Dance with a Cat, Dance like a Cat, Dance with somebody who has a Cat, or just do
something having to do with Cats and/or Dancing (You’re allowed to be creative in what you
consider to be a “cat” and “dancing”). Or do something having to do with Feet--after all, cats
have feet, and feet dance. Foot note: Whipped cream and chocolate syrup make great foot
toppings. Only advanced foot fetishists should use Catsup.
September 13 (37 Bureaucracy): Mass of Planet Eris/Eristotle (ED)/(MH). Even the scientific
bureaucracy recognized our Goddess (& the Mythic Prophet Eristotle) by naming Planet X Eris on
this date in 2006 CE. As of this writing, they're calling this world a dwarf planet, but we don't
mind. We have nothing against dwarves. So celebrate our planet's mass! (And remember, Eris'
moon Dysmonia is really Shamlicht.)
September 26 (50 Bureaucracy): Bureflux (PD). Holyday of the Season of Bureaucracy. Why
doesn’t the Principia Discordia tell us what to do with these seasonal holidays anyway? They
should form a bureaucracy to figure that out. Write to your representatives and tell them that.
Write in Ancient Greek. Use a purple crayon.
October 3 (57 Bureaucracy): Shamlicht Kids Club Day (ED). Honor the leaders and members
of Smagmoid Kids Club. Lead the “Shamlicht Kids Club Song” at a club, organization or school
board meeting; call a school and order five boxes of Twin Mints or Chock-a-lot Chaochip cookies;
ask a friend or a total stranger to join you in the Bodyshake. Realize that no adult ever fully
grows out of childhood, and that children can be very adult.
October 6 (60 Bureaucracy): Mad Hatter Day (O). Go mad-- without inhaling mercury or getting
committed. Host a mad tea party wearing a 10/6 size hat, or just join in. Also see June 10.
October 5 (59 Bureaucracy): Gonkulator Day (original spelling, Gonculator Day) (ED). A time
to recognize impressive and sophisticated-seeming devices that are completely useless. See
how many you can find in your home or office. See how many you can sell for a large profit to
those who don’t know what day this is. Those who work for major computer corporations should
find this an easy holiday to celebrate. (This holiday was inspired by an episode of Hogan’s
Heroes that first aired on this date. The prisoners of war convinced members of the enemy’s
Military Bureaucracy that a prisoner-made rabbit trap was actually some highly important device
known as a “gonculator.” The scheme worked because no one in the military establishment was
willing to admit they didn’t have the foggiest idea what the prisoners were talking about.)
October 12 (66 Bureaucracy): Habeas Corpus Remembrance Day (ED). Celebrated in honor
of the death of Eristotle on this date in 1782, and Emperor Norton I declaring the United States
dissolved on this date in 1859 CE. A day of Fondling and Groping, where all Discordians should
grab their Legislative Representative by the privates and cry out, "Where's my Bill of Rights, you
leech!" (Note: grabbing should be figurative, not literal).