|This Means WAR! This Means WAR! This Means WAR!
|Discordian Division of the Ek-sen-triks CluborGuild
|The "This Means War" issue
|Discordian Division of the Ek-sen-triks CluborGuild
The “This Means War” issue
BLIND MEN AND AN ELEPHANT PLUS
Yes, there’s another Wikipedia article that talks a lot about us. See en.wikipedia.
org/wiki/Blind_Men_and_an_Elephant for info on several conflicting versions of the story, including
Reverend Loveshade’s. The Rev’s version is available on our site and in several collections
including Wikisource at en.wikisource.org/wiki/Five_Blind_Men_and_an_Elephant You might also
want to read the article about Goddess Aneris at en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aneris, and learn how
Goddess Eris and es sister continually battle (and see a mention of Max Flax Beeblewax's story,
"The Myth of the Nipples").
NEW STUFF AND UPDATES
The articles on "Members" and "Babysitter Eris" have been updated or revised (the babysitter story
just slightly). “Harmonian-Discordian Poetry” from Principia Harmonia and by the Mythics of
Harmonia, "Inheritance Scam" by Anonymous, and "The Sacred Bowel Movement" by Dr.
Sinister Craven will be added to our site in coming weeks.
NEW MYTHIC OF HARMONIA
Congrats to Perlie the Pony Girl who was accepted as the newest member of the Mythics of
Harmonia. Perlie claims to have a horse’s body below the waist and a girl’s body above, which you’
d probably expect of a pony girl. Perlie is also a new member of Princess Amber’s Pacifier Suckers,
and is working on a submission for our site. Congrats and a Fanny Slap!
EK-SEN-TRIK DISCORDIANS VS. MYTHICS OF HARMONIA: IN PERSON!
Who will win? Reverend Loveshade, leader and founder of the Discordian Division of the Ek-sen-
triks CluborGuild? Or Princess Unicornia and Fairy Princess Yoshikyoko, leaders and co-
founders of the Mythics of Hamonia? They will come together in a summit meeting and battle it out
for supremacy! Will it be a traditional duel with pistols or swords, a battle of arcane magics, or just
a little mud wrestling? We don’t know what they’ll be doing or who will come out on top. But the
battle is scheduled for August 2006! Let us know what you'd like to see them fight about.
HOLYDAYS: TOWEL DAY AND MARY DAY (CHANGE): RESULTS
Princess Unicornia and Fairy Princess Yoshikyoko addition to The Mary Day has been
approved by our members! Pending a possible veto by Saint The Mary, the holyday will read
thusly (new part added in italics):
February 18 (49 Chaos): The Mary Day (DD). Honor The Mary, who is Patron Saint, Illuminated, of
Bearers of Erisian Tattoos, and also Keeper of the Holy Chao Belly (rub it for good luck--with
permission, of course. If The Mary isn’t available, expose and rub your own belly, but proclaim it
hers by saying “Hail, The Mary,” preferably while in public.) This is a good day to do something for
a Mary, do something Merry, or even to Marry someone. If you are merry about marrying a Mary,
you earn extra points.
We had lots of votes in favor of adding Towel Day as a holyday on May 25--some of them not even
from our members! If you missed our last episode, shortly after The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the
Galaxy author Douglas Adams died in 2001, Towel Day has been celebrated on May 25. (If you
don’t know, every hitchhiker should always know where es towel is). Now we can celebrate it too!
Anyone who wants to help write up the holyday, let us know very soon.
BATTLE OF THE UNDERWEAR PICS
We want to see you in your underwear! We've gotten lots of cool writings, some nice illustrations
(being considered), but have noticed a decided shortage of submitted photos to our site. This is
your chance! Send us pics of you in your underwear to celebrate Multiversal Underwear Day! (If
your photo shows you wearing it on your head, you could qualify for The Lesser Disorder of
Underwear Heads!) Send us the pics! (Remember, you are giving us the right to post your pics on
our site uniless you tell us otherwise).
(Details can be found at discordia.loveshade.org/ek-sen-trik-kuh/holydays)
July 15 (50 Confusion): Confuflux (PD)
August 10 (3 Bureaucracy): Multiversal Underwear Day (O)/(MH)
August 12 (5 Bureaucracy): Zaraday (PD)
RESULTS FOR SUBMISSIONS
The results are in for "Illuminati Chess" by Reverend Loveshade; "The Discordian Haiku" by
John Wilkes Harvey Oswald (yes, the author contacted us and said it was ok); and "Smagmoid
Anagrams" by Brother Kob: they were all accepted! Congrats!
Now we are looking for Discordian Haiku, so send us some we can use! The malfform is as
described below by JWHO:
The Discordian Haiku is a newly designed dying artform. It consists of three lines, much like a
traditional haiku. The first and last line contain 5 syllables each (therefore complying with the law of
fives), and the middle line contains a total of 23 sylables. It is traditional for the haiku to follow the
pattern of "statement, violent outburst, statement" or a voice rallying against mediocrity which is
For some examples of the form, check out community.livejournal.com/discord_society/68106.html
Yes, this issue we have no attachments to consider. It hasn't been that long since we sent our last
issue out, and we're working to catch up on what's already been approved. But look for our August
If you want to end your subscription to the Snooze Letter, send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org with the
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