Ignore the fnords

Discordian Division of the Ek-sen-triks CluborGuild
Snooze Letter

January 2011

The Pregnant Pineapple Issue


This being The Pregnant Pineapple Issue, in which we announce the winners for 2011 of the Order of the
Pineapple, give you an update on a Nude Year's Eve wedding, tell you about free email and free money,
and...pregnant pause...make a startling announcement.


The votes have been submitted and counted and we have the DisOrder of the Pineapple winners for
2011.  In smagmoidal order, they are (insert trumpets here)
Alan Moore and Sondra London.

Sondra London. E conducted what are perhaps the final and most in depth interviews with Discordianism
Kerry Thornley aka Omar Khayyam Ravenhurst, many of which can still be found online. The
author is known, rightly or wrongly, for being a "serial killer groupie," having dated a boy in high school who
later became one, and falling in love with another after the fact. E also was a friend of Thornley during es
latter years, and wrote es obituary. Working originally with
Rev. DrJon, London is listed as compiler and
editor of the new Discordian tome
Discordia Prophetica. "I have become my story....I am not safe," said
London. "I never wanted to be a repeatable person."

Alan Moore. The author of The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, Watchmen, V for Vendetta and
other works also wrote
Lost Girls. This features three Discordian saints (Alice of Wonderland, Dorothy of
, and Wendy of Neverland, who may have been based on Emperor Norton's 'The Little Countess'
Minnie Rae) which pushed the edge from art to pornography. In fact, it has been called the first true
porno-graphic novel. E refused money for movies made from es books, and left well-paying positions in
corporate comics to start what is perhaps the 21st century's first true underground magazine
Dodgem Logic.
The comic icon was also a friend of original Discordian and OP member
Robert Anton Wilson.

The Order or DisOrder was begun in 1982 by the
Ek-sen-triks CluborGuild, and is always presented on 18
January which is
Pat Pineapple Day.  It honors those who give extraordinary service to "eccentric discord."  
While a direct or indirect contribution to
D & D of the ECG or the ECG is technically required, nowadays
we're pretty loose with that part.  But exceptional service to the cause of discord and eccentric tendencies is
still a must.

And remember to consume something made of or resembling pineapple on January 18.  While anyone's
welcome to do so, that's an absolute and essential requirement of OP members.  Unless of course they don't
feel like it.


The New Year's Eve wedding of D & D of the ECG members Labial Dentist and Mistress C.B. (formerly
Mistress Cockroach Bouncer) happened, and it was a true happening.  According to the account of
Olivia aka Miss Monkey Candy, there were 87 people in attendance if you include a pug dog that
wandered in and got named
Prince Sticky Yellow.  You have to be a bit more careful in naming dog's
"Prince" in the United Kingdom than in the United States, but there's no problem as PSY told us e couldn't

Reverend Loveshade performed the ceremony, which not surprisingly included orange juice (a dangerous
weapon -- see
cused_officer/), doughnuts (no, not the GCHQ doughnut), whipped topping, mince pie (mostly eaten not
worn), and body paint (mostly worn not eaten).  The 37 people attending was very Discordian: 3 + 7 = 2 x 5,
and 537 is the D & D of the ECG number.  It was similar to the wedding Loveshade performed and posted
online for
Saint The Mary, except this one didn't take place in two or three time zones or feature five grooms.  
Also this one was legal.

There was a bang before the wedding, and, ahem, a bang after....

For more on the Clothing-optional Discordian wedding, look for
coming soon.


Hurry While the Money's Hot!

If you contributed at least half a page to this doing-it-completely-for-free project, you have once last chance
to win some money--assuming you see this soon enough.

1) Send us an email reminding us of what you contributed or think you might have contributed to the address
listed or linked below by midnight UTC between 18 and 19 January 2011 (we extended it a day because of
confusion over which midnight).  Your contributions have to total half a page or more, but we'll add
everything together.  Thus a quarter page here and a third of a page there count as half a page (we'll round

2) For each half page you contributed, you receive 1 chance to win.  So if your total contribution is 4 1/2
pages (rounded down), that's 9 chances to win.

3) Wait for Hug Day, 21 January 2010.  We'll have a Respected Neutral Party randomly determine two
winners.  The two winners will split the money!  If one person would win both, we'll redo the second number.

Yes, those who contributed more have a better chance of winning, but don't be discouraged if you gave half
a page.  Everyone who enters has at least one chance!

Free Email Address

Free email addresses are still available!  Did you contribute something to the book?  Want bob or sue or
another name that's already taken at virtually every email service in existence?  Well, now you can!  Your
name at loveshade dot org is probably available.  We may have some emails left over for others--if you're
interested, let us know.  Send us an email to the address listed or linked below and tell us what name you'd


We've said, for the last two issues, 'Look for: exciting follow-ups and additions, update on the planet named
after our Goddess Eris/Discordia, how to prepare a pineapple-stuffed llama, and a Discordian dating site.'

Well, it was all clues, although extremely veiled.  Don't feel bad if you didn't figure it out--you weren't
supposed to.  Eris was born pregnant; Eris/Discordia has the initials ED (like the Ek-sen-trik Discordians led
Reverend Loveshade); planet Eris is classified as a dwarf planet (small like a baby); Eris has one
smaller moon named Dysnomia; Eris got Pluto demoted from the ninth planet--in humans birth usually occurs
in the ninth month; pineapple is a symbol for sex; stuffed is slang for sex and being pregnant; llama is slang
for, ahem, the birth canal; discordian dating site can refer to intimacy and the calendar and the site where
Discordia threw the golden apple which was at a wedding party.  And what was the heading for these?  
Coming Next Issue.  Issue is of course a term for offspring, and as for coming....

Are these clues a real stretch?  You bet!  But then again, so is pregnancy....


This month on The Loveshade Family Blog at loveshade.org/blog/2011/01/pornography_on_youtube.html,
TawTew the Naturally Perfumed had a question.  TawTew posted, "I have a question."  See, we told you.  
"I see two pictures of pregnant girls in a row on this blog and one on the loveshade.org home page. I have to
be curious why? Something going on? ;)"

Well...all right.  
Olivia aka Ms. Candy Monkey (Miss Monkey Candy is so previous entry) is, according to
a doctor and thesaurus.com, abundant, anticipating, carrying a child, enceinte, expectant, expecting, fecund,
fertile, fraught, fruitful, gestating, gravid, heavy, hopeful, in family way, parous, parturient, preggers,
productive, prolific, replete, teeming, with child.  That's right; the lady is harboring a growing parasite,
probably of human origin.

Of course that leaves the obvious question for the developing fetus, "Who's your Daddy?"  No amniocentesis
or CVS test has been performed, so we can't rule out the possibility of ALIEN IMPREGNATION.  Hey, we've
seen it happen on The Sims.  And on X-Files.  And the founding vice-president and first OP member is
named Alien (hmm).  But there's an 85.37 percent chance the father is...well, let us put it this way.  A person
currently known as
Reverend Loveshade is considering changing es name to Father Loveshade.



(See a list of all our holydays with a link to full descriptions, including what ED and MH and PD and such
stand for, at

January 1 (1 Chaos):
New Year's Day (O)/Nude Year's Day (MH)
January 5 (5 Chaos):
Mungday (PD)
January 10 (10 Chaos):
Backwards Day, Reformed (O)/(ED)
January 10 (10 Chaos):
Binary Day (ED)
January 18 (18 Chaos):
Pat Pineapple Day (ECG)
January 21 (21 Chaos):
Hug Day (O)
January 26 (26 Chaos):
Backwards Day, Traditional (O)

February 18 (49 Chaos):
The Mary Day (ED)
February 19 (50 Chaos):
Chaosflux (PD)
February 20 (51 Chaos):
Pet Loving Day (O)
February 29 (St. Tib's Day):
St. Tib's Day (PD)/Leaping Birth Day (ED)
February 30 (?????):
The Unknown Holyday
March 10 (69 Chaos): Head Chicken/Chicken Head Day (MH)

March 19 (5 Discord):
Mojoday (PD) or Lingananday
March 25 (11 Discord): Discordians for Jesus/Neighbor Loving Day (DJ)

April 1 (18 Discord):
April Fool's Day (O)
April 2 (19 Discord):
St John the Blasphemist's Day (ED)
April 6 (23 Discord):
Jake Day (O)

May 3 (50 Discord):
Discoflux (PD)
May 23 (70 Discord):
Jake Day Jr. (DJ)/Day of the Elppin (MH)
May 25 (72 Discord):
Towel Day (O)
May 31 (5 Confusion):
Syaday (PD) or Gulikday/Fearless Fred Day (ED)
May 37 (11 Confusion):
537 Day (ECG)

June 10 (15 Confusion):
Mad Hatter Day (O)
June 21 (26 Confusion):
Imaginary Friend/Captain Tuttle Day (ED)/(MH)


How I Killed Pluto and Why It Had It Coming by Mike Brown, who worked both to get Pluto demoted and to
get Planet X named Eris.  He even acknowledged
The Jake That Changed a World started by Discordian and
OP member Professor Mu-Chao.  And does this title bear any resemblance to the subtitle of Principia
Discordia, namely 'How I Found Eris and What I Did to Her When I Found Her?'  You bet.


You can visit our small but selective store at discordia.loveshade.org/store. Remember, a portion of your
purchase through our store can help keep our site up and help pay off our legal fees--but it costs you
nothing more and you can get discounts through us! And if you don't want to buy anything from us, you can
sponsor a page on our site including our main page, or simply give us money. See
Why Should I Donate? at
discordia.loveshade.org/xtra/donate.html, or let us know if you'd like to sponsor a page or our site by sending
an email to the address listed on our homepage.

* * * * *

If you or someone you know wants to begin getting our absolutely free Snooze Letter and other cool
emailings (we usually send about one email a month), send an email to the address listed on our
with the subject
Add Me. If you want us to take your name off of our emailing list (which means you will
remain unilluminated), send an email to the same address with the subject

Send your comments on our Snooze Letter or proposals or opinions on submitted pieces or a request to
review future submissions or your birthday suit day or your vote on proposed saints or anything else other
than submissions to the same address, but put something Discordian (ED, ECG, Eris, etc.) in your heading
so we'll know it's not spam. (We get a lot of spam, and don't want to unknowingly delete something from a

If you want to make a submission for our website or possible future projects, email it to
ed_submit@loveshade.org. Please see submission details at discordia.loveshade.org/xtra/xssubmit.html
before you submit. Thank you and have a day.
A Snooze Letter of
the Discordian Division of the Ek-sen-triks CluborGuild
We remember we could use the pineapple but
don't remember where we got it   The rest of this
work is licensed under a
Creative Commons
2.5 License.
Discordia Home     Xtra Stuff
Snooze Letters
We made the wondrous textured wallpaper, but if
you really want to use it, go for it--we made it
public domain (kopyleft).
Discordian Division of the
Ek-sen-triks CluborGuild
Snooze Letter
January 2011
Discordian Division of the
Ek-sen-triks CluborGuild
Winners and how they
were selected are
described at the
bottom of this here
We have our winners in the Ek-sen-trik-kuh Discordia: The Tales of Shamlicht contributors contest.

And the winners are...

Fairy Princess Yoshikyoko and Reverend Loveshade.

This is how the winners were determined in five steps, naturally:

1) Public notice was given for everyone who contributed to
ED:TToS to contact the Ek-sen-trik
Discordians.  Unfortunately, we don't have contact information for everyone who contributed, so this way
everyone had a chance to contact us.  Notice was included in the December
Ek-sen-trik Discordian
Snooze Letter; linked in December on our homepage; posted in December on our website at
discordia.loveshade.org/xtra/snooze/snooze1012.html; posted in early January at the 23 Apples of Eris
23ae.com/2011/01/ek-sen-trik-kuh-discordia-the-tales-of-shamlicht-update-january-2011, and sent
again to everyone who subscribes to the Snooze Letter in mid January.

2) We compiled the list of contributions who responded, and rounded each person's contributions down
to the nearest half page (less than half a page counted as zero, but that wasn't a problem as no one
who contributed less than half a page responded).  Each half page gave one chance to win; for
example, contributing half a page gave 1 chance; 40 pages gave 80 chances.  Thus those who
contributed more had a better chance in the random drawing.

3) To insure contributors would know the two winners were determined randomly, we had two volunteers
who were not included in the drawing.  Professor Mu-Chao made two random determinations.  Mu-Chao
had a list of numbers and corresponding letters (contributor A, B, C, D, E, etc.) but no names.  So while
Mu-Chao's random rolls determined the winners, Mu-Chao did not know who the two winners were.

4) Mu-Chao then sent the two letters to Professor Cramulus.  Cramulus had a list that showed which
person each letter corresponded to.  Cramulus checked the list, then made the official announcement
by sending it to the Ek-sen-trik Discordians.

5) The Ek-sen-trik Discordians announced the winners to the public.
announced below