 |
Newton: Have any of you had contact with the original Discordians?
TawTew: I did Omar at a seance. Woo hoo!
Nurita: I don't believe we should talk to dead people.
Lorraine (giving a quick kiss to the forehead of Binky the WonderSkull): But you can kiss them!
Newton: What about you, Loveshade? Reverend Loveshade? If you could take your tongue out of Princess
Unicornia's mouth for a second....
Loveshade (withdrawing tongue): Oh, sorry. Original Discordians? I corresponded several times with The
Illuminatus! Trilogy co-author Robert Anton Wilson (the other author was Robert Shea--Newton) and got away
with calling em 'Grandbob,' but never met em in person. Not too long before es passing, I talked for an hour
with Greg Hill, a.k.a. Discordianism co-founder Malaclypse the Younger, who gave me some great advice. And
years ago, when I was a youngster who liked hanging around newspaper offices, I heard a man come in who
ranted about conspiracies and claimed to have a warehouse full of documentation. It wasn't until many years
later, when I saw a photo taken during that time in a book by Adam Gorightly (The book is The Prankster and
the Conspiracy--Newton), that I realized the ranter had been Kerry Thornley, a.k.a. Discordianism co-founder
Omar Khayyam Ravenhurst. I knew about Thornley for several years before I realized I had met em. Makes me
sound like an ignorant fool--instead of the insane genius I really am.
Newton: And the original Ek-sen-triks?
TawTew: I channeled one of them too.
Craven: I have met Paganus Grimlove (whom some claim was the Ek-sen-triks' co-founder Zeus--Newton) and
others but I don't remember their names.
Loveshade: There's several of them with whom I had intercourse. I mean social intercourse. OK, the other
kind, too. Damn, I'm good.
TawTew: It's true! (winks)
Newton: Loveshade, your ego is legendary, but so is your background. Are you really a descendent of Minnie
Rae, the prostitute proclaimed 'The Little Countess' by Discordian saint and San Francisco icon Emperor
Norton I?
Loveshade: That's what my mother told me. Always believe your mother when she's drunk.
Newton: Speaking of your mother, one of my more reliable sources claims your mother was a friend of Luna,
Robert and Arlen Wilson's daughter, when Luna was murdered at age 15. At the time, your mother was 15 and
had already given birth to you. She later became a founding member of the Ek-sen-triks CluborGuild. One of
my less reliable sources claims Dr. Sinister Craven wasn't just your professor at college, he is actually your
father.
Untroubled: I thought your father was dead!
Craven: Well....he is a good son. I am very proud of him. (laughs)
Newton: Loveshade, do you have an answer to all this?
Loveshade: Don't believe everything you write.
Newton: I know not all of the book's artwork has been selected yet and I've seen only a little of it, so I'll limit my
questions on that. But you're bound to run into controversy with pictures like the primitive sex cave painting with
people and animals, and your Dress Up Dolls page which features nude bodies, including some who look quite
young.
TawTew: It has children and adults of all four sexes. Some people believe my nude sculpture of the neuter
Deity Neuterino is a real body. That's a compliment!
Newton: Much of the book's artwork/photography says it was created by 'A.L.' The book's credits don't make
it clear which 'A.L.' this is. Do those initials stand for 'Alden Loveshade' or 'Anonymous Lifeforms?'
Loveshade: Yes.
Newton: Your book covers extremely controversial territory. Yet, paradoxically, it contains very little of what
would be considered 'dirty words.' Why?
TawTew: We prefer dirty deeds! (winks) Papa Craven, I've got the cloved kissing lemon for you, here between
my breasts!
Loveshade: Publicly saying or writing 'fuck' or 'shit' hasn't been cutting edge since Lenny Bruce got convicted
of obscenity in the 1960s. All words are valid, but you can use those words for anything, meaning they become
a substitute for thought.
Newton: All words are valid? Does that include made-up words like 'smagmoid' and 'fnord?'
Loveshade: All words are made up.
Newton: This is for anyone. What's your most important contribution to Ek-sen-trik-kuh Discordia: The Tales
of Shamlicht?
Unicornia: I don't know. It's hard to pick one!
Yoshikyoko: Helping write 'The Myth of the Adulthood Fairy.'
Nurita: The poem where I talk about being a nudist. Or making Discordians for Jesus with Sister Lorraine.
Lorraine: Discordians for Jesus and my haiku about the fairies.
Untroubled Teen: Giving Loveshade massages.
Newton: Untroubled, why is that your most important contribution?
Untroubled Teen: You should see em when e's tense!
Newton: Loveshade, what's yours?
Loveshade: The Make Your Own Page.
Newton: Why that?
Loveshade: Because that's the page people create for themselves, which really is the point of the book. That
and accepting other people's creation of themselves.
Newton: How much of the book is true?
Unicornia: It's all true!
Craven: I would say much of it is true. Especially about animal sex.
Loveshade: It's all true. But not all of it's factual. Sometimes fiction is truer than facts.
Newton: Convince people Ek-sen-trik-kuh Discordia: The Tales of Shamlicht is important enough for them to
read it.
Loveshade: Do not read this book! Don't even look at it! It will completely corrupt your mind! You can't
handle it! It's too dangerous! That should do it.
Newton: What hope do you have for the book in the future?
Unicornia: I want to read it to my children at bedtime. (laughs)
Loveshade: I hope that, 40 or 50 years from now, a young person will stumble upon the book, in whatever
form, and read it and this interview. E'll look puzzled and say, 'You mean 50 years ago this stuff was
controversial?' Because at that point, the things we're promoting will be routine.
Yoshikyoko: Except having monkeys fly out your butt!
TawTew: I did Omar at a seance. Woo hoo!
Nurita: I don't believe we should talk to dead people.
Lorraine (giving a quick kiss to the forehead of Binky the WonderSkull): But you can kiss them!
Newton: What about you, Loveshade? Reverend Loveshade? If you could take your tongue out of Princess
Unicornia's mouth for a second....
Loveshade (withdrawing tongue): Oh, sorry. Original Discordians? I corresponded several times with The
Illuminatus! Trilogy co-author Robert Anton Wilson (the other author was Robert Shea--Newton) and got away
with calling em 'Grandbob,' but never met em in person. Not too long before es passing, I talked for an hour
with Greg Hill, a.k.a. Discordianism co-founder Malaclypse the Younger, who gave me some great advice. And
years ago, when I was a youngster who liked hanging around newspaper offices, I heard a man come in who
ranted about conspiracies and claimed to have a warehouse full of documentation. It wasn't until many years
later, when I saw a photo taken during that time in a book by Adam Gorightly (The book is The Prankster and
the Conspiracy--Newton), that I realized the ranter had been Kerry Thornley, a.k.a. Discordianism co-founder
Omar Khayyam Ravenhurst. I knew about Thornley for several years before I realized I had met em. Makes me
sound like an ignorant fool--instead of the insane genius I really am.
Newton: And the original Ek-sen-triks?
TawTew: I channeled one of them too.
Craven: I have met Paganus Grimlove (whom some claim was the Ek-sen-triks' co-founder Zeus--Newton) and
others but I don't remember their names.
Loveshade: There's several of them with whom I had intercourse. I mean social intercourse. OK, the other
kind, too. Damn, I'm good.
TawTew: It's true! (winks)
Newton: Loveshade, your ego is legendary, but so is your background. Are you really a descendent of Minnie
Rae, the prostitute proclaimed 'The Little Countess' by Discordian saint and San Francisco icon Emperor
Norton I?
Loveshade: That's what my mother told me. Always believe your mother when she's drunk.
Newton: Speaking of your mother, one of my more reliable sources claims your mother was a friend of Luna,
Robert and Arlen Wilson's daughter, when Luna was murdered at age 15. At the time, your mother was 15 and
had already given birth to you. She later became a founding member of the Ek-sen-triks CluborGuild. One of
my less reliable sources claims Dr. Sinister Craven wasn't just your professor at college, he is actually your
father.
Untroubled: I thought your father was dead!
Craven: Well....he is a good son. I am very proud of him. (laughs)
Newton: Loveshade, do you have an answer to all this?
Loveshade: Don't believe everything you write.
Newton: I know not all of the book's artwork has been selected yet and I've seen only a little of it, so I'll limit my
questions on that. But you're bound to run into controversy with pictures like the primitive sex cave painting with
people and animals, and your Dress Up Dolls page which features nude bodies, including some who look quite
young.
TawTew: It has children and adults of all four sexes. Some people believe my nude sculpture of the neuter
Deity Neuterino is a real body. That's a compliment!
Newton: Much of the book's artwork/photography says it was created by 'A.L.' The book's credits don't make
it clear which 'A.L.' this is. Do those initials stand for 'Alden Loveshade' or 'Anonymous Lifeforms?'
Loveshade: Yes.
Newton: Your book covers extremely controversial territory. Yet, paradoxically, it contains very little of what
would be considered 'dirty words.' Why?
TawTew: We prefer dirty deeds! (winks) Papa Craven, I've got the cloved kissing lemon for you, here between
my breasts!
Loveshade: Publicly saying or writing 'fuck' or 'shit' hasn't been cutting edge since Lenny Bruce got convicted
of obscenity in the 1960s. All words are valid, but you can use those words for anything, meaning they become
a substitute for thought.
Newton: All words are valid? Does that include made-up words like 'smagmoid' and 'fnord?'
Loveshade: All words are made up.
Newton: This is for anyone. What's your most important contribution to Ek-sen-trik-kuh Discordia: The Tales
of Shamlicht?
Unicornia: I don't know. It's hard to pick one!
Yoshikyoko: Helping write 'The Myth of the Adulthood Fairy.'
Nurita: The poem where I talk about being a nudist. Or making Discordians for Jesus with Sister Lorraine.
Lorraine: Discordians for Jesus and my haiku about the fairies.
Untroubled Teen: Giving Loveshade massages.
Newton: Untroubled, why is that your most important contribution?
Untroubled Teen: You should see em when e's tense!
Newton: Loveshade, what's yours?
Loveshade: The Make Your Own Page.
Newton: Why that?
Loveshade: Because that's the page people create for themselves, which really is the point of the book. That
and accepting other people's creation of themselves.
Newton: How much of the book is true?
Unicornia: It's all true!
Craven: I would say much of it is true. Especially about animal sex.
Loveshade: It's all true. But not all of it's factual. Sometimes fiction is truer than facts.
Newton: Convince people Ek-sen-trik-kuh Discordia: The Tales of Shamlicht is important enough for them to
read it.
Loveshade: Do not read this book! Don't even look at it! It will completely corrupt your mind! You can't
handle it! It's too dangerous! That should do it.
Newton: What hope do you have for the book in the future?
Unicornia: I want to read it to my children at bedtime. (laughs)
Loveshade: I hope that, 40 or 50 years from now, a young person will stumble upon the book, in whatever
form, and read it and this interview. E'll look puzzled and say, 'You mean 50 years ago this stuff was
controversial?' Because at that point, the things we're promoting will be routine.
Yoshikyoko: Except having monkeys fly out your butt!
| This interview is copyright 2007 by Adam Newton. We made the wallpaper, but you can use it for whatever you like. |
| Adam Newton is a freelance writer and educator. Newton has written for books, magazines, newspapers, radio and television. We're honored that e agreed to interview many of the contributors to our we're-working-to-get-it-published book, Ek-sen-trik-kuh Discordia: The Tales of Shamlicht. |
| PART 5 of 5 |
| PART 5 |
| October 3 2007 CE |
57 Bureaucracy
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