Kids will be Kids
Discordian Division of the Ek-sen-triks

Snooze Letter
September-October 2007
Ignore the fnords
Discordian Division of the Ek-sen-triks CluborGuild
Snooze Letter

September/October 2007

The "Kids Will Be Kids" Double Issue

This being the "Kids will be Kids" Double Issue, in which we recognize the recently late
Weekly World News, propose some twisted saints, brag about our professional interview,
announce St. The Mary's nuptuals, and welcome the creation of Smagmoid Kids Club.


Some of you may think Shamlicht Kids Club has been around for two years. But Shamlicht
, founded by Captain "Sesame Seed" Rogers in August 2005, and Shamlicht Girls,
began by
Sister Hooter in September 2005, didn't officially merge until 3 October 2007. The
planned date was originally 30 September 2007, but the October date was selected as it's the
anniversary of the day that authorities found the murdered body of 15-year-old
Luna Wilson.

Luna was the daughter of
Robert Anton Wilson and Arlen Riley Wilson, and reported friend
Reverend Loveshade's mother (see Online Articles on Us? below). We like the idea of
living, joyful chaos springing from a chaotic and tragic death, and consider it a tribute to the
peace-loving, animal-loving Luna. It's also the birthday of a very happy girl and brand-spanking
new SKC member (see
You're Celebrating What? below).

For more information on the club, go to


Missive from St. The Mary:

    Yep, I got married on July 3rd to Evan in the local courthouse without anyone else (not even my
    mom). We told everyone later in the week and they didnt seem to get it. During the ceremony he wore
    a hawaiian shirt and i wore a hawaiian dress that I got from a grocery store.

    He even stole my tattoo (see attached photo). Of course this means he has been successfully
    converted to Discordianism muahahahaha
    And he makes me pancakes for breakfast.


    St. The Mary

Congratulations to them both! So when can we expect some new members for Smagmoid Kids
Club?  (We'll put Evan's tattoo up as soon as we get permission).


Some time after you receive this (assuming you live in the timeline Earth Prime 7), much of
what's in the
Ek-sen-trik-kuh Discordia: The Tales of Shamlicht section of our site will be pulled
as we prepare to submit it for print publication. But don't panic. We are adding
Xtra stuff, and
have already added
A Complete, Totally and Entirely Seriously Accurate, History of the United
States by Episkopos Rombuerto Sanchoso etc., and Five Ages of Man (Eristotle and
Thuddipus) from HyperDiscordia.  Look for more coming, including Discordian Artifacts! And
we've added an
Interview--see below!


Adam Newton's interview with much of the cast of Ek-sen-trik-kuh Discordia: The Tales of
Shamlicht (ED) is on our site now! It happened (or will have happened, if you're reading this a
week ago tomorrow-yesterday) on 3 October 2007, the official founding date of SKC. The
interviewees were (or will have been)
Untroubled Teen, Princess Unicornia, Fairy Princess
Yoshikyoko, Perlie the Pony Girl, TawTew the Naturally Perfumed, Sister Hooter,
Captain 'Sesame Seed' Rogers, Sister Lorraine of Fairy Tree, Nixie Nurita, Dr. Sinister
, and of course Reverend Loveshade. And if you were paying attention to our last
Snooze Letter, you'll know there's also a
Special Guest Appearance! Is this exciting stuff or

interview by Newton, who's written for magazines, newspapers, radio and television, may
also be used as an afterplay in our book. Or not. That will likely be up to our publisher, whoever
that may be. (The extra portions at the beginning and end of books are usually called foreward
and afterword, but we prefer foreplay and afterplay. We like calling parts of our book that too).


Pope Hilde (SKC leader) and Binky The WonderSkull (not our Binky, but a damn clever
imitation) have been posting and revising articles about us and our doings and misdoings to the
site! If you aren't familiar with it, it's a wiki encyclopedia with a 23/Discordian slant,
which means it's filled with great information, entertaining articles, and some really crappy stuff.
Ah, Discordian tradition!

So far we appear to be mentioned in the articles
Robert Anton Wilson, Luna Wilson,
Reverend Loveshade, Shamlicht Kids Club, Discordian Cabals
, and a few others. They
even mention some of our holydays. You might also want to check out the articles on the
Professor Mu-Chao (the Discordian formerly known as Prince Mu-Chao),
Eristotle, Planet Eris, and more.

Not one to miss a chance at a self-plug, Reverend Loveshade said the article on emself is only
slightly less accurate than
the one about em on  While articles tend to
stay much longer on s23 than on the frequently vandalized Wikipedia, you still might want to
check them out while they're still there.


Fairy Princess Yoshikyoko is pleased to announce the arrival of es very first, a bouncing
baby period! A womanhood ceremony for the menarche was led by
Princess Unicornia and
other biologically mature feminine types, including our own
Nixie Nurita and Nurse
. Ironically, the arrival was on a day that in part of Russia is celebrated as Day of
, or Make a Baby Day. The 12 September date is nine months before Russia
Day, which is 12 June. (You might note that
Discordians for Jesus/Love Your Neighbor Day is
25 March. Isn't that nine months before something? Hey, those Russians ripped us off!)

Happy Birthday Suit Day to
Bumper Bunny, a Founding Member of the Smagmoid Kids
Club's nest called Purple Ferret's Nest. (Other founding members are Coco Kitty, Joe
(formerly Joe the Monkey), Rosey Tiger, and Harry Monkey.) We were
pleased to deliver Happy Birthday spankings personally. For those not familiar with the SKC, a
nest consists of usually 5 to 10 members, and usually 5 to 10 nests form a tree. A few trees form
a grove, a group of groves form a forest, and all the forests form the Smagmoid Kids Club.

If you have a birthday, anniversary, holyday celebration, convention, nose bleed, or other event
you'd like us to mention in a Snooze Letter, send us an email to the address below.


(See a list of all our holydays with a link to full descriptions at

September 9 (33
Bureaucracy): Cat Dancing & Foot Fetish Day (ED)
September 13 (37
Bureaucracy): Mass of Planet Eris/Eristotle (ED)/(MH)
September 26 (50
Bureaucracy): Bureflux (PD)
October 3 (57
Bureaucracy): Smagmoid Kids Club Day (ED)
October 5 (59
Bureaucracy): Gonkulator Day (Gonculator Day) (ED)
October 6 (60
Bureaucracy): Mad Hatter Day (O)
October 12 (66
Bureaucracy): Habeas Corpus Remembrance Day (ED)
October 24 (5
Aftermath): Maladay (PD)
November 16 (28
Aftermath): Ek-sen-triks CluborGuild Day (ECG)
November 24 (36
Aftermath): Spanking Fest (ED)
November 25 (37
Aftermath): 537 Day (ED), sometimes Turkey Day (O)
December 4 (46
Aftermath): Hug Day II (O)
December 8 (50
Aftermath): Afflux (PD)
December 25 (67
Aftermath): Santa Claus Day (O)/(ED)
December 30 (72
Aftermath): New Year's Eve Eve (ECG)


(For a more detailed listing, look to your right --->)

In an effort to be politically correct in a politically incorrect way, we're proposing more saints who
don't have penises (unless they borrow one), and a few who are (or were) so endowed.

Proposed saints include
Laura Palmer and/or Log Lady of Twin Peaks; Julia and Winston
of Nineteen Eighty-Four; Pesher the Gardener of Novus Ordo Discordia; Monty
of Great Britain; Elzafinagle of Ireland; Harbol of A Fnordian Bestiary; Josephine
of America and France; and Jesus of Nazareth.

Let us know what you think of all or any of these proposed saints by sending us an email to the
address listed below.


The World's Only Reliable Newspaper has stopped printing. Weekly World News appeared,
not surprisingly, weekly, and featured the most bizarre and hard-to-believe reports this side of
U. S. President
George W. Bush. While we've heard the publication will continue online, we will
really miss seeing those annual reports in our local supermarket proclaiming "this year the world
will end," angry editorials by
Ed Anger, and frequent photos of the cousin of our own Paco the
Fruit Bat
known as Batboy. (Plus we'll miss those photos of the girls in bikinis on page X).

Reverend Loveshade was in the process of submitting to the publication when it
announced it would close. Come to think of it,
Loompanics went out of business right when
Reverend Loveshade talked about submitting to it. Coincidence?

An amage to WWN by
Danacasso will appear on our site soon.

* * * * *
Hey kids! If you or someone you know wants to begin getting our absolutely free Snooze
Letter and other cool emailings (we usually send about one email a month), send an email to
xxxxx@ with the subject
Add Me (see our Homepage for current email address). If
you want us to take your name off of our emailing list (which means you will remain
unilluminated), send an email to the same address with the subject Unsubscribe. Send your
comments on our Snooze Letter or proposals or opinions on submitted pieces or a request to
review future submissions or your birthday suit day or your vote on proposed saints or
anything else other than submissions to the same address, but put something Discordian
(ED, ECG, Eris, etc.) in your heading so we'll know it's not spam. (We get a lot of spam, and
don't want to unknowingly delete something from a Discordian).

If you want to make a submission for our site (or the book, which only needs art submissions),
email it to
(see our Homepage for current email address). Please see
submission details at before you submit.
Thank you and have a day.
Snooze Letter
September-October 2007
Discordia Home     Xtra Stuff
A Snooze Letter of
the Discordian Division of the Ek-sen-triks CluborGuild

Laura Palmer and/or the Log
Lady of the bizarre TV show
Twin Peaks (which we believe in
Japanese is slang for "breasts")
were proposed by
Sister Hooter
Pope Hilde.  We could
have either, both, or neither.

"Who killed Laura Palmer?" was
essentially the McGuffin that got
viewers into the popular show,
which unfortunately got less
popular as it became weirder.  
The Secret Diary of Laura
, which tells of Laura's
life from age 12 to the end as a
young adult, is being considered
as a holy book.  Laura was
known as the sweet wholesome
homecoming queen, but had a
secret life as dark as the space
inside a lame duck president's

Log Lady introduced the episodes
after Twin Peaks went off the air (an
odd twist if we ever heard one).  During
the show, e carried around a log that
supposedly delivered messages to em
that no one else heard.  However the
lady got the hints, they generally
proved correct, if in an odd,
way.  This is, of course, the mark of an
Ek-sen-trik Discordian prophet--or any
successful prophet, for that matter.

Two fine nominees are
Julia and
Winston Smith.  Winston edited
history (and thus the recorded
version of reality) to make Big
Brother's government look good in
George Orwell's classic dystopian
Nineteen Eighty-Four.  But
the editor rebelled.  E wrote a
not-government-approved secret
diary and had a
government-forbidden affair with
the young revolutionary Julia (last
name unknown).  Their acts of
rebellion and sex for freedom
sound Ek-sen-trik Discordian to us.

Pesher the Gardener is
already recognized as a saint in
Novus Ordo Discordia
(associated with
S. John Ross),
but we like em too.  Pesher
brought beauty to the king (one
of The Agents of Greyface), but
through governmental order
could bring it to few others.  But
by sowing a little discord that
lead to the king's wanton acts of
destruction, Pesher brought
chaotic beauty to everyone.  A
prime example of Zenarchy.

Monty Python?"
asked an
.  The Monty Python
troupe has been called the
Beatles of comedy, and
challenged conventions of
society, comedy and even
storyline by making sketches
with no endings.  Their
combination of silly sight and
physical gags mixed with utterly
eccentric logic-twisting speeches
and witty satire earns them a
nomination as a saint(s).

Elzafinagle was a disposed
Catholic nun in early medieval
Ireland.  Found at age seven,
the girl grew up to spread
discord, as well as es legs.  E
fell asleep during Vespers, but
stayed awake to engage in
sexual relations with the
gardening boy (Pesher?),
priests, nuns, and whoever
else--so much for the vow of
celibacy.  Elzafinagle was kicked
out, and visited and partied with
Druids, Fairies and Vikings
before an untimely death
involving a yellow feather boa
and a big axe.

Harbol is or was a 228 1/2
centimeter (7 ft. 6 in.) tall
fearless, hair-covered,
axe-wielding laughing humanoid
who likes scaring adults but
loves children.  Harbol appears
The Shamlicht Kids Club
, creates chaotic fun
everywhere e goes, and has
been played in several
roleplaying games in various
states.  The hairy guy is
described in
A Fnordian
by Chao tse-Tung,
although some credit es
discovery to
Alden Loveshade,
who strangely lived much later
and hates appearing in our
Snooze Letters.

Josephine Baker was an
African American (possibly half
Caucasian) woman who danced
in skimpy costumes, sometimes
less, and was known for wearing
a skirt of bananas.  Somehow,
Josephine managed to become
a successful social activist, and
was even asked to help fill in for
the assassinated
Martin Luther
King Jr.
 This impressed
Princess Unicornia and Nurse
enough to
nominate the banana dancer for

Perhaps the most controversial
is our final nominee,
Jesus of
.  Jesus challenged
social and religious conventions
by saying people were greater
than the law, and by teaching
(horrors!) women.  E spoke to
and accepted young children,
saying adults had to be more
like them.  E grossly insulted
religious authorities, answered
questions with questions, and
taught by parables and riddles.  
This earned em a nomination
Discordians for Jesus
Sister Lorraine of
Fairy Tree
and Nixie Nurita.
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and is released into the public domain.
Sacred Chao
Sacred Chao