In the morning, an Anonymous Lifeform met Reverend Loveshade and Binky the WonderSkull
at a zoo near a well-known river in Texas.  This wasn't Binky The WonderSkull with a capitalized "The"
who posts Discordian goodies online, but the original Binky, who really is a human skull, or at least a
damn clever imitation.  Anonymous Lifeform (nicknamed "Anon") confessed to Reverend Loveshade
that e had a little unplanned question-and-answer session with some cops.  This didn't seem like a
very good start for ShamliCon.  But it wasn't too bad: Anon wasn't arrested.

Soon, several members of
Purple Ferret's Nest (PFN), a local chapter of the Discordian group
Shamlicht Kids Club (SKC), joined us.  PFN nestlers (leaders) Shamlicht AL and Minima brought
nesters (members)
Cococat, Joe Monkeyshines and Bumper Bunny, plus new members
Faunrise, Ram and Slick Pigeon.  (It wasn't required by any means, but all members of PFN,
including those who weren't able to attend, chose to name themselves after animals).  Naturally, we
greeted each other with the Discordian
Bodyshake, which is actually a little tricky to do when the two
people doing it are of very different heights.  But what are Discordians if not flexible?

The nest members already knew Anonymous Lifeform, but were excited to meet Reverend
Loveshade.  Most of the kids called em "Revy Love," the nickname started years ago by
St. The
Mary, although Ram called em "Lovey."  Even though Shamlicht Kids Club was created by Captain
"Sesame Seed" Rogers
and Sister Hooter, Loveshade was a big help in getting the group
publicized.  But the kids were even more excited to see Binky the WonderSkull.

Anon's friend
Perlie the Pony Girl, whom the PFN group also knew, and Perlie's friend Sister
, whom most of us had not met in person, showed up a little later.  At that point, we declared it
the unofficial beginning of ShamliCon.  Of our group of five, Reverend Loveshade acted like one of
the kids only even more of a kid, whereas Binky the WonderSkull acted like, well, a skull.  Binky is
known for the grave robber phrase "Scoop up the fun," although to be honest none of use actually
heard Binky say that; at least not when we weren't drunk.  Perlie the Pony Girl was our
naturally-friendly-and-always-smiling-if-a-little-quiet Discordian American Princess; Sister Creamy was
our confident, fun-loving, let's-do-it girl; and an Anonymous Lifeform was our Discordian
Daddy-Momma who kept us all out of jail.

We saw the obligatory lions, tigers and bears, plus Galapagos tortoises, gibbons, giraffes, African
elephants, etc.  At one point a bear was seen to be relieving emself.  Ram said, "Look, the bear's
going poop," to which Minima responded, "That's right.  That's bear poop all right; that's what it is,
bear poop."  The motto of
SKC is "be prepared for anything," and that includes giving kids accurate
information and not unnecessarily hiding the kids from the realities of life.  The kids and adults
enjoyed seeing the animals (not all of which were pooping) and feeding some koi, which are fish that
grow larger than, but are closely related to, goldfish.

The zoo is in a large park area by the river that also includes jogging and hiking trails, shelters, picnic
areas, and a playground with a mini water play area, where we'd planned to take the kids.  
Unfortunately, the play area and portions of the nearby streets were closed off for construction.  
Loveshade and Creamy said we could climb the fence, but the group decided against it.

So the five of us unconventioners (Anon, Revy Love, Perlie, Creamy and Binky) went to the motel
room Anon had reserved for us, and were joined there by Purple Ferret's Nest.  Our motel room was
number 257 (the closest number Anon could find to the Ek-sen-trik Discordian 537 in a two-story
motel).  The motel had a pool, which immediately became the site of a ShamliCon-SKC swim party.  As
not all of us planned to go swimming in a "public" pool, not everyone brought a swimsuit.  But as we
didn't think the motel staff and guests would appreciate us skinnydipping, some of us improvised our
swim clothes.  We learned that, in a motel swimming pool with no real supervision, T-shirts and
underwear work just fine.

We had fun hitting each other with those really long, round highly flexible things designed for water
fights called noodles, until we got told "no horse play."  So much for no supervision.  We really wanted
to play Sink.  But Anon informed us that throwing each other into the water was not the greatest idea
in a pool that didn't get deeper than five feet (150 centimeters).  So we had fun swimming,
occasionally splashing, and otherwise chilling at the pool.

After a quick bite to eat, in the evening we joined the PFN leaders and members to bring in the
Summer Solstice with a family-oriented Pagan group.  All of the PFN group who went to the zoo with
us are also members of the Pagan coven, and Perlie and Anon have both gone to some of their
esbats and sabbats.  In turn the group had participated in an
Erister Egg Hunt in March.

Reverend Loveshade almost turned back when somebody let slip that one of the Pagans was a police
officer.  E claimed, "Cops make me break out in a rash."  Considering how a small-town cop had
sparked a massive investigation that caused over five years of trouble for Loveshade and several
others, that wasn't surprising.  E finally agreed to go after we all promised we wouldn't tell anyone who
e was.  E said we should call em "Roger."  Those who knew the cop assured the Rev. that this officer
would be friendly, would not be on duty, and would definitely not be wearing a uniform.  

While not all Pagan groups perform their ceremonies skyclad, this one does.  As it was warm, they
decided to bring in the Summer Solstice outdoors in a private, heavily wooded area.  While none of
our group of five (counting Binky) has a problem with nudity, Creamy was worried about getting
chiggers.  If you're lucky enough to come from an area that doesn't have them, chiggers are tiny mite
larvae found in grass that crawl on your skin, suck your blood and cause red patches that can be very
irritating.  But Anon and others assured Creamy that chiggers only bite under fur or clothes--if you're
naked, you don't get chiggers.  Most of us wore footwear of some kind, so did apply protection to our
feet.  Creamy applied protection well above the feet, but no one who didn't got any chiggers.  The
incident created a new saying: "Chiggers are God's way of telling us we shouldn't wear clothes."

The Pagans welcomed us warmly, although a few of them weren't too sure how to take Binky.  And of
course Reverend Loveshade's anonyminity didn't last, as many of the people already knew who e
was.  Several were fans.  And, while not a Discordian cabal, a couple of the coven's members had
contributed to the Loveshade-edited book
Ek-sen-trik-kuh Discordia: The Tales of Shamlicht.

Fortunately, the big-city cop assured Loveshade, saying, "I can guarantee you I'm not going to report
I met you while we were naked at a Pagan festival."  The officer already knew of the investigation of
the Ek-sen-trik Discordians, and told us, "A lot of small town cops are dickheads."

We had intended to contact
St. Mae at 6:59 p.m., the technical moment of the Summer Solistice when
the good saint would be possessed by Goddess Eris.  Unfortunately, we missed it.  But somehow,
celebrating with a tongue-in-cheek Discordian kids club at a zoo, goofing off in our swimsuits and
underwear at a silly swim party, and going skyclad in a Pagan ceremony with attendees including a
supportive cop seemed an appropriately Discordian way to bring in summer.

While the Pagan group invited us to stay for a get-together after the ceremony, we said we planned to
have our own.  We said goodbye, dressed and went back to our motel room.  We realized we would
be spending two nights in a motel room with more people than beds.  But somehow we didn't think that
would be a problem.  But we did have a problem.  Anon had made certain to book us a room with WiFi
so we could use the Internet from our motel room.  But those of us who suspected the motel would not
supply us with a notebook computer also thought someone else would bring one.  We gulped a
collective gulp as we realized we were in for a whole weekend of Internet withdrawal.

Moving on, Anon opened the package with ritual objects sent em by St. Mae so that, even if we
couldn't participate in
KallistiCon in person or through the Internet, we could at least do the ritual at
the same time and in the same fashion as conventioners.  In the oddly-decorated six by nine inch
envelop, we found: a round metal, flat eight-pointed chaos star with a slightly over four centimeter
hole in the center; a Church of No Dead Saints Pope card featuring Loveshade's Grandbob (
Anton Wilson); and three different types of stickers that said variously, "for vaginal use only;" "for
rectal use only;" and "poison."  All of that was great, and we were glad to find those cool items.  But
what we didn't find were ritual directions.  (We later learned these were emailed out, which did us no
good without access to the Internet.  And because of our difference in time zone, even these would
have been a little late).

But no matter.  Reverend Loveshade reasoned that, being Discordians, we didn't have to follow the
ritual rules anyway, as long as we did a ritual.

We also reasoned that not being tied to the Internet meant we weren't tied to our motel room.  We
decided that a great place to do the ritual would be where the Branch Davidian compound had been,
which was in an area very near Waco, not too far from us.  Anon had some idea where the compound
had been before it and many of its members were destroyed in a raid.  If there was a perfect place in
central Texas to perform a Discordian ritual (other than the Church of the Subgenius headquarters in
Dallas), that would be it.

Unfortunately, without access to the information-loaded Internet, we had only a vague idea how to get
there.  Driving through Waco, with its streets at all sorts of angles, many of them one way, is always
confusing.  But considering that several of the main streets were blocked off for roadwork and we
didn't know where we were going anyway....

So we decided to do the ritual in our motel room.  First we blessed the room and our gathering and
just about everything else with the "Official Discordian Blessing" by the Ollave/Ophilla Cabal of the
Church of Eris (as found in the
Steve Jackson Games' edition of Principia Discordia).  Then we
blessed each other by reciting
Dr. Sinister Craven's "The Alternate Five Fold Blessing of Eris" (as
found in
Ek-sen-trik-kuh Discordia: The Tales of Shamlicht).  We then decided to play the world's
most adaptable card game, 1000 Blank White Cards (as found in
ED:TToS and several other places).

As we only had one chaos star, Perlie decided we should all touch it at the same time and meditate on
Eris.  Four people touching one star at the same time while all on one bed proved more difficult than it
seemed, especially when Loveshade said we shouldn't leave Binky out.  We finally decided that Binky
was a Zen person, and thus could Zen touch the star, which proved a little easier.  And experiencing
oneness with the help of some meditative substances, which Anon hadn't done in years, didn't hurt
our getting closer together.

We then meditated, and afterward shared what we experienced.  An Anonymous Lifeform said e saw
that all paths were open to em, and all paths were also closed.  It was es choice.  We thought that
could be true and useful for anyone.  Sister Creamy had a vision of giving birth to the world.  We
believed that could be great for someone yet to come.  Perlie had a related vision, and saw everyone
naked in a flower garden that expanded to include the whole world.  We felt that would be
great for everyone.  Loveshade said es vision was o
f us all being together in a motel room.  We found
that to be a great opportunity for us....
by an Anonymous Lifeform, Perlie the Pony Girl, Reverend Loveshade, Sister Creamy,
Binky the WonderSkull (as the token dead head)
This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons
3.0 License.  The image of the cherub is
believed to be in the public domain--if you
know otherwise, please let us know.  The name
ShamliCon is a trademark of The Loveshade
ShamliCon 2008: Day 2

Saturday, 21 June 2008
ShamliCon: A Discordian UnConvention
Cherub Princess Shamlicht
Day One

of the first, and probably only,

Friday, 20 June 2008