No Time Like The Future
Discordian Division of the Ek-sen-triks

Snooze Letter
March-April 2008
Ignore the fnords
Discordian Division of the Ek-sen-triks CluborGuild
Snooze Letter

March-April 2008

"No Time Like The Future" Double Issue

This being the "No Time Like The Future" Issue, in which we tell you how to plan an Erister
Egg Hunt/EggGASM, talk about new and proposed saints, share some exciting discoveries
about our Discordian saint-prostitute Minnie Rae, and update you on the regress of our book
to which you might have contributed.


Our most excellent book Ek-sen-trik-kuh Discordia: The Tales of Shamlicht was all ready to
begin submitting to publishers--or so we thought. We learned that, when called up on some
computers, our absolutely perfect layout ends up, well, not so absolutely perfectly laid out. And
we learned that, unfortunately, some publishers have some computers (imagine that). So we're
in the process of reformatting every single page (groan!).

The only good part is that we may have a tiny bit more space than before, which will allow us to
add a few more (if very small) cool bits such as a quote or reference or two that we weren't able
to fit in before. We may also be creating some of our own fonts for the book, as we want to
avoid any legal problems with using copyrighted fonts without permission--that would Be Bad
(See "Donald Trump Plans to Trademark Letter B").

As one of our soon-to-be-doing-more-art-for-our-empty-holes artists just got a professional gig
that will take up es time (good for em, bad for us), we now have some unexpected room for art.
We've got some great art from professional and amateur artists and photographers, but need
more. Check
Stuff We Need Right Now for details on what we're looking for.


Congrats to Rosey Tiger on reaching physical adulthood. Rosey, who is a founding member of
both the
Shamlicht Kids Club and its Purple Ferret's Nest, helped set up an Erister Egg Hunt
(see below). The valued member had an adulthood ceremony attended by same-sex members
of es alternative religious group (the group isn't Discordian, but has over half a dozen
Discordians as members--or should we say dismembers?)

Happy Birthday to
B (no Discordian name yet) who is friends with Rosey and is one cool person.

Happy Birthday Suit Day to
Bellydancer Upyours, founding member of Mythics of
Harmonia and spy on the Discordian Division of the Ek-sen-triks CluborGuild. Or is it the
other way round?

Happy upcoming Birthday Suit Day to
Mythics of Harmonia co-founder Fairy Princess
. Yoshi, as we sometimes call the fairy princess, is a major contributor to
Ek-sen-trik-kuh Discordia: The Tales of Shamlicht. You can send happy birthday wished to (let
us know if you want this email address).

Slap-Happy Birthday to Discordians for Jesus co-founders
Sister Lorraine of Fairy Tree and
Nixie Nurita. Neither one of the then preteen founders will be preteen anymore. They were
among the younger contributions to
ED:TToS, and were a part of Adam Newton's interview
with the major creators of the book. Through the end of May 2008, you can send birthday wishes
to them at (let us know if you want these email addresses).

If you have a birthday, anniversary, holyday celebration, convention, new wart, or other event
you'd like us to mention in a Snooze Letter, send us an email to the address below.


We have more saints and more proposed saints!

By popular opinion (at least we liked the opinion),
Bugs Bunny (Warner Bros. trouble-making,
fast-talkin discord creator),
Perri the Squirrel (unnamed co-creator of The Illuminatus!
), and Bullwinkle the Moose (see Moosemas on our site) will share a sainthood! This
should prove that we do not discriminate, and show that we support equal rights for non-human
animal persons. Now we'd better not see some misguided moralist accuse of us of being
against bestiality!

Ophelia (called O-feel-ya in the play Little Pig by Billy Wigglestick, which is known to
non-Discordians as
Hamlet by William Shakespeare) has been approved for sainthood! In
case you missed our
last issue, Ophelia gets jilted by lover Hamlet as the prince pretends to go
mad, "madly" gives out flowers to royalty and nobility that just happen to symbolize some truths
about their deeds (truth hidden as nonsense), and then plays sink with "I sunk myself."

Pope Hilde has suggested naming Dorothy (of The Wonderful Wizard of Oz) and Wendy
Peter Pan and Wendy) as Ek-sen-trik Discordian Saints.

Dorothy got caught in a cyclone with her dog and went to a weird, twisted land where she
traveled with strange-looking and odd-acting men, spent a lot of time with witches, fought for
personal freedom, and removed or destroyed those in authority. She finally got home, but then
she went back to the land of weirdness.

Wendy took es younger brothers and left their mother and father and nanny (the family dog),
learned to fly and traveled with a strange man-boy called "Peter Pan," became both his mother
and wife, and spent time being tied up by pirates (not to mention letting her daughter and
granddaughter run off with Peter).

Alice (of Alice's Adventures in Wonderland who's already one of our saints), Dorothy and
Wendy are also the stars of
Lost Girls written by Watchmen author and social norm-challenger
Alan Moore and illustrated by Melinda Gebbie.

You might also want to consider
Peter Pan as a saint. Peter ran away from The Agents of
, refused to grow up, flew, fought the authorities and created Discord, lived the
principle "do as you will is the whole of the law," tricked those in authority with mind games, and
unpredictably switched sides in conflicts (don't be fooled by the Goody-Goody "Peter Pan"
created by those folks at Disney).

Let us know what you think of the above by May 15.


(See a list of all our holydays with a link to full descriptions at

March 10 (69 Chaos): Head Chicken/Chicken Head Day (MH)
March 19 (5 Discord): Mojoday (PD) or Lingananday
March 25 (11 Discord): Discordians for Jesus/Neighbor Loving Day (DJ)
April 1 (18 Discord): April Fool's Day (O)
April 2 (19 Discord): St John the Blasphemist's Day (ED)
April 6 (23 Discord): Jake Day (O)
May 3 (50 Discord): Discoflux (PD)
May 23 (70 Discord): Jake Day Jr. (DJ)/Day of the Elppin (MH)
May 25 (72 Discord): Towel Day (O)
May 31 (5 Confusion): Syaday (PD) or Gulikday/Fearless Fred Day (ED)
May 37 (11 Confusion): 537 Day (ECG)
June 10 (15 Confusion): Mad Hatter Day (O)
June 21 (26 Confusion): Imaginary Friend/Captain Tuttle Day (ED)/(MH)
July 2 (37 Confusion): Mid Year's Day (ECG)


On 12 March 2008, Pinky McFatfat suggested that people have a Easter Egg Hunt with a
Discordian twist--hide something surprising in colored plastic Easter eggs for kids to find. The
idea was quickly picked up and named
Erister Egg Hunt (by Mythics of Harmonia) and
EggGASM by Professor Cramulus (of Black Iron Prison). Others got involved, including the
Shamlicht Kids Club group Purple Ferret's Nest and the Discordian Division of the
Ek-sen-triks CluborGuild. All the above hid some eggs. To learn what surprises were hidden,
go to Start making plans for next year!


You may already know that we declared Minnie Rae, who was named "The Little Countess" by
none other than
Emperor Norton I, as an Ek-sen-trik Discordian saint. As it happens, a few
researchers are looking into the life of Minnie Rae (who apparently referred to emself as Mary
Simpson while in Great Britain). Several streets in the Sixth Street area of San Francisco were
named after prostitutes of the Barbary Coast days of the second half of the 1800s, and there's a
Minna Street there (which interestingly features a club called Harlot).

Not only may the street have been named after Minnie Rae, who was born in 1860, but
something even more famous may have been inspired by the saint. On the back of the only
known photo of the girl, taken in Great Britain in 1871, the photographer wrote that the girl
claimed to be "Mrs. Berry." As it happens, "Mary Simpson" may well have known Jimmy Barrie,
also born in 1860. If so, the photographer might more accurately have written that Mary claimed
to be "Mrs. Barrie." If you aren't aware,
J. M. Barrie grew up to write Peter Pan and Wendy....


You might have noticed that our currently once-every-two-month Snooze Letters have lately
come out very near the end of that two month period. We intend to start having them out earlier
soon. We've been busy wrapping (and now re-wrapping) up our book and doing other arcane
activities we're not cleared to tell you about. We may also start sending out very short emails
about special upcoming events or projects (anyone want to get a Jake going for
Jake Jr.
Day/Day of the Elppin on May 23?)


If you haven't already, you might want to check out our online store at We've got some great books listed there, and plan to add
more books and other cool stuff. Remember, a portion of your purchase through our store can
help keep our site up and help pay off our legal fees--but it costs you nothing more! And if you
don't want to buy anything from us, you can sponsor a page on our site including our main page,
or simply give us money.
See Why Should I Donate? at, or let us know if you'd like to sponsor a page or our
site by sending an email to the address listed on our

* * * * *

If you or someone you know wants to begin getting our absolutely free Snooze Letter and
other cool emailings (we usually send about one email a month), send an email to the
address listed on our
homepage with the subject Add Me. If you want us to take your name off
of our emailing list (which means you will remain unilluminated), send an email to the same
address with the subject Unsubscribe. Send your comments on our Snooze Letter or
proposals or opinions on submitted pieces or a request to review future submissions or your
birthday suit day or your vote on proposed saints or anything else other than submissions to
the same address, but put something Discordian (ED, ECG, Eris, etc.) in your heading so
we'll know it's not spam. (We get a lot of spam, and don't want to unknowingly delete
something from a Discordian).

If you want to make a submission for our site (or the book, which only needs art submissions),
email it to the address for such purpose listed on our
homepage. Please see submission
details at before you submit. Thank you and
have a day.
Snooze Letter
March-April 2008
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